


Recall

by Feli_nya



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Erwin's POV in later chapters, Levi's POV, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-01-07 14:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1120848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feli_nya/pseuds/Feli_nya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A reincarnation AU. Levi, who has memories of the past, is now an orphaned kid and gets adopted by Erwin Smith and his wife. Erwin doesn't remember anything and Levi tries his best everyday to get Erwin to remember their past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A new start

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still not so confident in writing, so I'll just keep this as short and simple as possible. This story will be from Levi's perspective (I doubt he's someone who writes much anyway). Apologies if I sound somewhat out of character.

January 15, 19XX

Today I've been rejected again. This is probably the 50th interview I went. So far it seems that I still have no hope of getting out of here. I've always told Ms. Reiss (she 's one of the administrators in this orphanage) that I could take care of myself but she always told me that I'm still a kid. Such a worrywart. So far there's still no sign of Erwin or that brat ((referring to Eren here)). I need to get out of here to find them. Ms. Reiss had arranged another interview for me with another couple tomorrow, I hope that it will be a success. 

 

January 16, 19XX

I couldn't get a wink of sleep yesterday. Those damn little brats...don't they know when to shut it? I also had that dream again, when I was still in the past. I miss those days when it was just me, Erwin and my squad (before Eren came that is). I did my usual morning routine, and got ready for the interview. When I got into the interview room, there was a lady there waiting for me. She had red hair and bright green eyes. My initial thought was that she was a single parent. I got onto my chair and we started the interview.

I answered her questions like how I did with all the other couples. Her expression changed after several questions. She seemed upset. Well, that wasn't the first time someone became like that after talking to me anyway, so I let slide. After about half an hour later, there was a knock on the door. I assumed that it was Ms. Reiss who came to check if the interview was over, however it wasn't her this time, but someone else. The door opened and the person who stood there was a man. A familar man with blue eyes, thick eyebrows and blonde hair that had been kept in a neat hairstyle. There was no doubt about it. The man who stood there was Erwin. It was shocking for me to have finally met him after what seemed like an eternity. 

He was panting when he got here. From his attire, I assumed that he had ran all the way from his office to this orphange. I wondered if he still remembers me. He walked to the table, pulled out the empty chair to the red-haired lady (which I had assumed to be his wife) and sat down. 

"Sorry I'm late," that's what I recalled Erwin said for the first time after eight years. "So, where were we?"

I was stunned for a moment, letting everything sink in. My heart began to race and Erwin began his turn to ask questions. I stammered a little but soon got used to it. It felt just like old times, back when we were still soldiers, back when the titans still roamed the world. After sometime, Ms. Reiss came to check if the interview was over. Erwin and his wife got up. Erwin smiled and nodded his head. His over-politeness was one of his trademark characteristics, aside from his eyebrows. My heart was still racing and I could still feel the heat on my face. Ms. Reiss told me that they will give their response after about a week. 

 

January 23, 19XX

It has been a week since that last interview. I was so excited about today that I could hardly sleep yesterday. Those sounds that usually annoy me, such as those brats screaming here and there, did not bother me as much today. I was on cloud nine. I ran up to Ms. Reiss who had just finished talking on the phone. She looked down and smiled at me.

"You're finally going to have a family," she said. "The Smith couple had agreed to adopt you. They'll be here this afternoon, so pack your bags because you're moving out!" 

My eyes immediately brightened up. This was one of the best news I could recieve besides someone telling me that my cleaning supplies had arrived. I ran to my room filled with joy and excitement. I jumped onto my bed, hugging a pillow and rolling from side to side. My heart was beating fast. I had never felt this happy (neither had Ms. Reiss seen me this happy) before. The thoughts of a happy life with Erwin (and his wife) started to flood into my head.

Soon, it was time to go to the Smiths'. I packed my belonging and waited eagerly at the lobby. Shortly after, the Smiths had arrived. Erwin helped me with my bags while Mrs Smith helped me to get into the car. The interior of the car was clean and white, just like how Erwin used to have a white horse. Mrs Smith sat up front while I was at the back seat. Erwin entered the car after he was done loading my bags. I shifted myself to sit directly behind Erwin. My heart starts to race again, but for a different reason this time.

"So Levi, are you excited?" Erwin asked as he drove his car.

"Uh-huh," I replied as I was too busy looking out of the window. I had always been in the orphange and hardly ever went out aside from the days when I had lessons. Even so, the venue was still in the vicinity of the orphanage. I hardly had the chance to go out, away from the orphanage. The thought about this reminds me of the days I spent back in the days. The present is so much more peaceful.

We soon reached my new home, the Smiths' residence. The house is a huge white mansion, and there are many plants in the front yard (including a fountain) to decorate. There are butterflies and small birds on the nearby trees in the area. It was really quaint and peaceful. 

 _Now I'm really curious to know what Erwin work as_ , I thought after examining the place. The interior of the mansion is very roomy and is filled with many exquisite decorations. Though I noted that those decors could use some dusting. Erwin and his wife helped me with my belongings. I was later left alone for a while to get used to this place. I went to do some exploration of my own during that time.

 _Not bad,_  I muttered as I explored. There was a library, an indoor gym, an office and several guest rooms. Before I could explore the entire place, it was dinner time. The Smiths had employed a chef. _Neither of them cooks,_ I assumed. When the chef entered to introduce herself, my mouth dropped slightly as another familar face hit me. I could recognise that it was Sasha.

She introduced herself politely with a kind smile on her face. She was little different from the past. I've always remembered her as a greedy girl who loved food a lot, with potatoes being her favourite. I wondered if there were still anymore familar faces in this house. Sasha left shortly after she took out all the food she prepared. I was amazed that she had not eaten them much like how she had usually done so in the past. There was silence during dinner time. Erwin tried to break the silence by asking more questions about myself (such as my favorite color, etc).

After dinner it was time for bed. Erwin came to tuck me in. _This is my best chance to ask him about that._

"Um... Erwin," I started.

"Call me 'dad'," requested Erwin before I could go on any further.

Calling him 'dad' was weird for me, espacially when we had been partners in the past, not 'father-and-son'. I continued my question.

"So dad, um, do you believe in past lives?" 

"Past lives? You believe in such a thing?" 

I nodded my head and looked at him. He looked up and placed his hand under his chin, giving some thoughts on how to answer my question.

"Like who you were in the past, or who was... mom in the past. Or maybe who was _I_ in the past?" I explained.

"Well I _do **not**_   know who _you_   were in the past but I certainly do believe in it. Maybe someday I will come to remember who I was in the past. Now it's time to go to bed. Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite," Erwin said as he gently tucked me in and kissed my forehead. He made his way to the entrance, turned off the lights and whispered 'good night' to me before closing the door.

I looked up at the ceiling, shocked by his response and unable to sleep. 

_How could he have forgotten me, after we had been together for a long time and had done a lot of **that** in the past? Well, if he doesn't remember me, then I'll have to **make** him remember me._


	2. The house servants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets the servants of the house. 
> 
> (This one will be longer as it will be what he experienced for the entire day in the house)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly speaking, I did not expect to get this much of a response just shortly after I had posted this fic. Why? Because I wrote this on the spot immediately (without planning) after an idea came to me. But I had fun writing so I'll just continue this. Also, thank you to those who had read and or left kudos on this work.

January 24, 19XX

Day 2 in this house and there is still so much left to see. It was morning and I got out of my bed to go to the washroom. At some point I realized that I had forgotten the location of the washroom. I decided to go look for either Mrs Smith or Erwin to help me out. I wandered around the house aimlessly, hoping that I'd either find the washroom or someone to direct me there. As I was walking, I suddenly bumped into someone. Someone that I had never seen before in this house yet feels so familar. The person turned around to introduce herself.

"Hi there, you must be the new young mas-"

She suddenly paused. Eyes looking wide and her jaw dropped open. "L-Lance corporal!?"

The person that I had just met was Petra. She immediately apologized after recognizing me. She brought me to the living room to discuss things further. We exchanged some information and this was what I had gathered:

1) My old squad members are currently employees working in this house

2) All of them still have memories of the past (which is good)

3) Petra works as the maid here, Oluo is the manservant, Eld is the gardener (only comes twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays) and Gunther works as Sasha's assistant (I'm still confused about this part)

"Yesterday, commander Erwin had given all of the staffs of this house a short vacation, except the chef," Petra explained.

"And who's the butler? Is it someone I know?"

"Yes, it's squad captain Mike."

Before Petra could go on further, someone came in and interrupted us. It was Oluo, and he's holding a broom and a bucket of water. 

"Oi Petra, what are you doing slaking off here!? You should be cleaning the-" Just like Petra, Oluo was stunned when he saw me. He immedietely dropped the broom and the bucket on the floor (which had left a mess there on the carpet). "L-L-Lance coporal!?" He ran up to me with tears flowing from his eyes and mucus dripping down his nose which I find to be extremely disgusting. He knelt down before me while I gave him a disgusted look. "I-I've missed you so much!'

I sighed. I did not really know how to react to this. Hardly anyone in the corps had anytime to miss someone given that one of our goals is to figure out how to stay alive during expeditions. "Yeah, I miss you too," I said. "Why don't the two of you do me a favor and clean up this house?"

"Yes sir!" They replied with the upmost enthusiasm like they had in the past. _This really does bring back those memories,_ I thought. 

"There you guys are. Get back to work! We don't have all day dilly-dallying," said a voice. _This voice...could it be...?_

A tall blonde haired man with a moustache just beneath his nose walked into the living room. He was really tall, well dressed and had a calm yet serious expression. There was no doubt about it. This man right in front of me is Mike. Petra and Oluo immediately respond to him and dashed out of the room. I could hear them bickering as they leave to continue with their work. Mike walked up to me. Something about him is a little different. _Does he remember anything about the past,_ I wondered.

"You must be the new young master," said Mike with a calm tone. "I'm Mike Zacharius, the butler of this house. A pleasure to meet you." He then bowed. I gave him a tone of acknowledgement. For a moment, there was an awkward silence. "Um... Is there something the matter young master?"

"No," I replied as I hop down from the luxurious-looking sofa. I walked towards the door and stopped there. I turned around to look at Mike, who was still standing there, watching me. "Say, Mike."

"Yes, young master?"

"Do you believe in past lives?"

"Not really. Why, is there something bothering you, young master?" I did not reply but simply shook my head. It was clear to me that Mike, like Erwin, had no memories of those times. I continued walking around the house and eventually found the washroom. I went down to the dining room and saw Gunther there, waiting for me. He was about to greet me but I put up my hand assuming that he was probably going to have the same reaction like Petra and Oluo.

"Where's that girl Sasha?" I asked.

"She's still alseep, sir," he replied. I continued with my breakfast. It was bacon and eggs, something that I rarely had at the orphanage. I tried to start a small conversation with Gunther and at the same time, asking if there was anything else I should know. The conversation did not turn out so well and Gunther had informed me that no one else is in the house aside from the employees and Erwin himself (he works from home and his wife works at a local cafe). After breakfast, I went around the house to look for Erwin (on the way, I found Erwin's walk-in closet. The clothes smelled so fresh, and so much like Erwin as well). I only found Erwin when I reached the library. He was sitting on one of the tables with a laptop and several books he pulled out from the shelves. _This is my chance,_ I told myself.

I walked towards Erwin silently. He was really focused on the screen that he did not notice me. When I got closer to him, the feeling when Erwin held me for the first time returned. I could feel my blood rushing into my face and my heart thumping loudy. I had never felt so nervous before. I opened my mouth to let out a soft "hey". In a library that had pin-drop silence, noticing the sound that I had just made wasn't a challenge. Erwin immediately noticed me and was rather surprised. His reaction was cute. 

"Whoa! Sorry, didn't notice you there. What are you doing here?" Erwin asked as he shifted his body to face me.

"L-Looking for you," I stammered in my reply.

"Aww, are you lonely?" I nodded my head.

"Well I'm sorry, but I can't play with you right now. Why don't you look for the maid or the butler to play with you?" Erwin said as the proceeds to continue with what he was doing before.

"Already did." I shifted myself closer to Erwin and at the same time, trying to find out what he work as. "What are you doing?"

"Working on a case," Erwin answered with a smile. I blushed.

"A-a case?"

"Yes. I'm a lawyer, see? I help people with their conflicts and try to help those whom I side with to win a...quarrel," Erwin explained to me like how he would with a child. I already knew what a lawyer is and did not need Erwin to explain it to me. I did not question about his job further, however, flashbacks of those pigs in the court appeared in my mind. My face turned sour. Erwin took a glance at me and said: "Would you like to sit over here and watch me work?" Erwin slapped his hand twice on his lap, signalling me to come and sit on his lap. I hesitated for a moment before doing so. My small frame fitted onto Erwin comfortably. My face became red and my heart started to beat even louder. 

For the whole day I sat on Erwin's lap, watching him type letters and sentences on the computer. I had lunch with Erwin in the library earlier in the afternoon (did not talk at all because Erwin was trying to finish his lunch quickly). After lunch I continued to watch Erwin work in silence. Just being close to Erwin made me forgot what my initial objective was. 

Clack, clack, clack. I dozed off after several hours after hearing Erwin's continuous typing. I woke up to find myself in bed. I turned to my side where my clock is. It was nearly 7 p.m in the evening. I got up and took a shower. I went back to the library only to see Erwin still sitting there typing away. There was an empty bowl with a spoon inside. _Must have had his dinner,_ I assumed.

I went to the dining room for dinner. Sasha and Gunther was there waiting for me. I dismissed them back into the kitchen. I looked down at my food and started using a fork to play with them. Not that I was upset about the food, but it was the fact I had wasted my chance to get Erwin to remember me. I glanced to my side and managed to catch a glimpse of Petra and Oluo peeking at me. I knew they were worried about me but I needed sometime to straighten out my thoughts.

After dinner, I stared out of my room window for quite a while, trying to figure out some way of how I could bring back Erwin's memories. I knew I could not just approach Erwin wothout some sort of planning. I tried to formulate some sort of a plan in my head. Before I knew it, it was bedtime already. I just slumped onto my bed and looked up the empty ceiling again. 

_Maybe I'll figure out something tomorrow._

 


	3. School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi goes to school because Erwin says so. He gets some surprises in school as well (as if the other two days weren't surprising enough).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for taking your time reading and/or leaving kudos on this fic. I hope that you will still continue to look forward to upcoming chapters. There are still many more characters to be introduced!

January 25, 19XX

_"Oi! Eren! Look out!"_

_"Huh?"_

_(Mutters)"Tch. Dammit."_

_[Dashes in, grabs Eren , escapes from an incoming attack from a titan]_

_"Oi, brat. Next time, watch your surroundi-"_

_[Titan roared, pounced on me and Eren,there's no time to react. Someone jumped in to shield us]_

_[Looking at scene; Eren gasps loudly, my eyes widens due to shock]_

_[Titan has someone in mouth, crushes the person, blood comes splashing]_

_(Me; shouting) "ERWIN!!!"_

"Erwin!" I cried out, eyes wide and gasping for air. I looked around, only to find myself in my own room. I placed my right hand over my eyes. _It's a dream, it's a dream,_ I told myself. _It HAS to be a dream...right?_ Just then, I heard a knock on the door.

"May I come in?" asked a muffled voice.

"Yeah," I said in a weak voice. The door opened and I turned my head, with my hand now on my forehead, to look at the person who was entering. It was Erwin. He sat on the side of the bed, close to me. I placed my hand back on the bed, face looking pale, perspiring and still gasping for air a little.

"Are you alright?" Erwin asked in a concerned tone.

"Yeah," I answered softly, looking away while still trying to recover from the nightmare. 

"I really do hope you are, because from today onwards, you'll be going to school!" Erwin announced. I gave him a confused look, staring at him as if the answer can be found on his face.

"What?" was all I could manage.

"You heard me," he said. "You're going to school today whether you like it or not. Besides, we can't just ignore your education right?"

 _He's got a point,_ my conscience told me. 

"Now hurry up and get changed," he said while getting up and walking towards the door. "Or you'll be late." Erwin shut the door after his last sentence. I was left alone in my room. I sat up right, trying to process what he had just said. 

_School, huh?_

~~~~~~~~

"Stay here for a moment, would you?" instructed Erwin as he bent down to talk to me. "I'll be right back."

Erwin had brought me to school, elementary school to be precise. He had also brought me to the school lobby. I was told to wait outside of the adminstration office. I took the chance to look at my new surroundings. The corridor was wide and there are posters pasted along it. There were also several doors, each with their own labelling. The floor was beige and was kept rather clean and the walls were pure white. I could also faintly hear noises made by students in their classes. Now that I had observed my surroundings, I realized that I did not have a chance to actually attend a _real_ school. In the orphanage, I was only sent to a learning centre for classes. This might actually be a good start to a peaceful life.

After about several minutes or so, Erwin walked out of the office with a lady following behind him. Erwin told me that this lady would guide me to the classroom. I then had to wave goodbye to Erwin. "See you after school" was the last thing he said to me before he completely left the school premises. The lady tapped my shoulder, signalling it was time to follow her and get to class. I felt very reluctant to move from the spot. 

The lady showed me the school acround the school once before we actually head to the classroom. I was looking at everything with amazement and curiosity. About approximately twenty minutes of a quick walkthrough around the school, she finally brought me to my classroom. 

"This will be your classroom," she told me. She opened the classroom door for me. There was a whiteboard at the front, a desk (at the front as well) and rows of tables and chairs arranged in twos neatly in front of the board. The class was filled with students sitting at their tables, listening to the lady in the front (which I assumed to be the teacher). The lady at the desk was standing and holding a clipboard with several pieces of paper on it. She had brown hair tied up into a pony tail and was wearing clear oval-shaped glasses. She turned to look at me. It was another familar face... _very_ familar.

"Oh hey there! Are you the new transfer student?" she asked. "You know, I was about to mark you as 'late' on my list. Good thing you showed up exactly on time!" She gave me a big smile. Not just any smile, but a smile that I would know anywhere.

_Oh god, don't tell me it's..._

"Well, I'm Miss Zoe, your homeroom teacher," she said. "Now don't be shy and come on in!"

I was both reluctant and afraid to enter the classroom. I was afraid not becuase of Hanji as a person, but it was her lectures that I'm afraid of. The lady (that showed me around) gently pushed me a little, silently telling me to enter. I slowly walked towards Hanji, giving second thoughts about this 'peaceful life' thing. When I finally walked up to Hanji, she introduced me to the class (which saved me a lot of trouble introducing myself). She had also assigned me a seat. 

"You shall sit over there next to Eren," she said while pointing at an empty seat near the classroom window.

_Eren?_

I slowly made my way there, observing every student I can see in the class. Everyone was staring at me as I walked down the row to sit next to Eren.

 _What, you brats haven't seen a human before?_ I thought.

When I got to my seat, I placed my bag on the table. I then pulled out the chair and sat down. I slouched, with one hand behind the chair and my legs crossed. With my other hand, I dragged my bag and just placed it at the side of the table. 

"Hi, my name is Eren. Nice to meet you," Eren whispered to me with a smile, holding out his right hand for a handshake. There wasn't much of a difference with the current Eren aside from being younger and looking less rough. His hair is still brown and also messy as before. He also still has those teal-green eyes like he had in the past, only that it looked bigger now.

"Yeah, nice to meet you too," I said, taking his hand and shaking it. After the handshake, I immediately took out a mini hand sanitizer, that I had kept in my pocket, and used it to clean my hands. Hanji carried on with whatever she was doing before, once I had settled down. I took the opportunity to have a look around the classroom. There were some posters hung up onto the wall, some bookshelves (filled with books of different sizes) and some tables with a tank placed at the top. There was an animal (I assumed that it was a guinea pig) asleep at one corner of the tank. The tank also contained wood shreds, a mini wooden house, a wheel, food bowl and a water bottle (for pets). 

When Hanji had finished the attendance and a few adminstrative stuff, it was time for normal lessons to begin. I was new to this system and thus, was a little lost. Math was a headache, art lesson was too messy (or dirty) for me and I nearly fell asleep during social studies. Luckly the bell rang before I really did fall asleep. While the other kids ran out to play at the mini playground (that the school had), I stayed back in class (voluntarily), cleaning it. However, while I was cleaning, Hanji came in.

"So, you still haven't changed huh? Still being a clean freak and stuff," she asked while leaning at the door, hands crossed. 

"Hmm? Oh, so you still have your memories?" I asked her back. She nodded and walked to a seat that was near me and sat down. We had a small chat, talking about whatever we had been through in our new life. I told Hanji about Erwin and the situation at home.

"So they don't have their memories?" asked Hanji in surpised tone.

"Not a single one at all," I replied, looking down at the floor and sweeping it. "Strangely enough, Petra and the rest of my squad still had their memories. Though I'm not sure about Sasha."

"So even Erwin, whom you've been together with the most, had no recollections of you?"

"Yeah," I answered, feeling a little depressed at the thought of it. 

"This really is strange," said Hanji while she looked up at the ceiling, trying to connect all the information I had told her. "Well, I'll see what I can come up with at the end of the day. Also, I'll be teaching the class in the next period, so I hope you're ready." Before I could thank her, Hanji happily got up and walked out of the classroom with happiness and confidence.

 _She'll be teaching the next period..._  I pondered on those words as I watched her leave the classroom. _T_ _eaching the next- Wait, what!?_

The bell rang and break time was over. All the students had to return to their classes. The thing that I had dreaded the most has came. Hanji walked into the class upright, with a determined expression on her face. She also carried a thick book and a pencil case in one arm and had the free hand clenched into a fist. She walked over to the teacher's desk and slammed her materials onto the desk. Everyone in the class quickly straightened themselves. They put on a face which not only determined but afraid, afraid of what is to come, like the new scouts on their first expedition from long time ago. It seemed to me that everyone knew what Hanji is capable of. 

Just fifteen minutes into her class and the atmosphere became heavy. 

 _You can't die from boredom, huh?_ I thought.

While Hanji was busy yapping away and scribbling things on the board, I turned to look at how the class is reacting to her. Like what I had expected, everyone was either half-dead or on the verge of death thanks to Hanji. I could spot a girl that looked like Mikasa seated at the other side of the classroom. She had a red scarf around her neck and is trying to use it to cover her ears. Her head was also on the table. I also spotted a boy that strongly resembled Armin who was seated not far from Eren. He seemed to be the only one who was diligently taking down notes (I was rather taken aback by this). As for Eren, he looked like he was on the verge of death, face looking pale and eyes looking empty. I wondered how Hanji's students had managed to put up with her for _all_ of her lessons.

Luckily the school bell rang and we were saved from anymore of her lecture. Hanji bid the students adieu as they left the classroom feeling happy and victorious. I followed the class at the back. As I was about to leave, Hanji called me. I turned around and saw her expression. I knew this was serious. She only started talking once the class had left. She took out another book from her lab coat and handed it to me. 

"I can't come up with anything to solve or explain the mystery behind Erwin and the others' memory, but all I can do is lend you this book. It's a book about phychology, things related to the way people think. It may not help much, but I think it can at least give you some hints on what to do," she explained. I took the book and simply nodded to signal my understanding. I then walked out of the classroom with the book in my hand. 

When I left the school gates, Erwin was there, standing near the gates waiting for me. I happily ran up to him. He carried me up as soon as I got close to him. My heart skipped a beat when he did that. He carried me in one arm and my bag in the other. I placed my hand around his neck and my head on the shoulder. 

"How was school? Was it fun?" He asked.

"Not bad," I answered. 

"How was your teacher? Was she nice?"

"Could have done a better job at teaching."

"Picky," said Erwin after he chuckled a little. I blushed and shifted my head a little downwards, towards my chest. My heart started racing thanks to his compliment. I held out the book to examine it. _Human Phychology: All about memories_ , was the book's title. 

 _Four-eyes, I hope you're right about this book or you're dead,_ I thought. I opened the book to the first chapter as Erwin merrily walked down the street with me in his arms. How I wish he would do this everyday.

_All right, chapter one..._

 


	4. Extras 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1 word: Extra. A whole lot of extra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic! Here comes some crack stuff/ extra chapter (or whatever you call it) before we continue. This chapter will be in the form of a script. Now let's all assume that the first day Levi had went to school was a Monday...
> 
> Other notes: If you spot any mistakes, do tell, because I admit that I do not proofread my own work sometimes *gets beaten up by child Levi* *groaning in pain* O-on with the extra...

January 25, 19XX:

Extra 1.1: I went to school today

_[Sound of door unlocking]_

_[Door opens]_

Erwin (still has Levi in his arms): "I'm home!"

_[Mike comes to greet Erwin]_

Mike: *Bows* "Welcome back master. How did it go?"

_[Erwin puts Levi down. Levi closes book, tugs Erwin's trousers. Levi looks at Mike.]_

Erwin (sounding happy) : "Mmm... Not so bad. I think Levi kind of likes school. See? He's got a book with him." *points at Levi*

Levi (shocked): _W-What!?_

Mike: "I see... Is there anything I can do for you, master?"

Erwin: "Ah, yes. Do inform Charlotte that I've brought Levi back from school."

Mike: *Bows slightly* "Will do, master."

_[Erwin walks in the direction of the library. Levi follows him, still tugging at his trousers]_

_[Erwin turns around]_

Erwin: "Ah, one more thing Mike. After you're done infroming Charlotte, please bring down some snacks to the library. I'll be there to continue my work."

Mike: *Bows slightly* "Of couse, master."

_[Erwin looks down at Levi]_

Erwin: "Levi, you should go do your homework. If you have any questions, I'll be at the library, alright?" *Smiles and pats Levi on the head*

Levi (shyly): *Blushing* "O-Okay." *Lets go of Erwin's trousers*

_[Mike and Levi watched Erwin leave]_

_[Mike turns to look at Levi]_

Mike: "So, is there anything I can do for you, young master?"

Levi (surprised): !!! "N-No." *turns and walks away briskly*

-Meanwhile... Dining room entrance - 

_[Gunther hiding behind a wall, eavesdropping on Erwin and Mike's earlier conversation. Gets caught by Oluo and Petra]_

Petra: "Gunther! What are you-"

Gunther: "SHHH!!!" *Signals Petra and Oluo to hide*

Petra (whispering): "What are you doing?"

Gunther (whispering): "I'm trying to listen to the conversation!"

Oluo (whispering): "You're eavesdropping on the commander!? If I was the lance corporal, I'd beat the shit out of you for this!"

Gunther (whispering): "Shh! Quiet down you fools, I'm trying to listen!"

_[A short while later]_

Petra (still whispering, now interested): "S-So, what are they saying?"

Gunther (whispering): "I'm getting something about the lance corporal going to school."

Petra and Oluo (surprised, a little loudly): "Going to school!?"

Gunther (whispering): "Shh!!! Quiet!" *Takes a peep* "Ah, here comes the lance corporal! Quick, everyone!"

_[Levi walks in with book in one arm. Everyone stands in a straight line. Snaps into a salute the moment Levi enters the dining room.]_

Petra, Oluo and Gunther: "Welcome back, sir!"

Levi: "Huh?" *Turns to look at the trio* "Oh, yeah, sure." *Signals the trio to be at ease. Walks to a chair.*

_[Levi pulls out and sit on a chair. The trio went to crowd around him]_

Petra (stammering; nervous tone): "W-W-We heard that you went to school today. S-So how was it?"

Levi (not really paying attention): *Puts the book on the table* "Not bad..."

Gunther (nervous as well): "S-So, did you meet any new friends? Learnt anything new today?"

Oluo: "Yeah, was there anyone who tried to piss you off? Tried to threaten you?"

Levi (sounding slightly annoyed): "Not really. The only thing I learnt today is that four-eyes is now my science and homeroom teacher."

Petra: "I see... Y-You know lance corporal, while you were gone, we really missed you."

Gunther: "Yeah, we were really worried about you, even squad leader Mike."

Levi: "Oh, really?"

Oluo (a little jealous, also sounding a little sad on purpose): "But I missed you the most, lance corporal!" *Hugs Levi*

Levi (struggling): "Gah! Let go of me you disgusting idiot! 'The hell's wrong with you today!?"

Petra (exclaiming in shock): "OLUO!"

Gunther (panicking slightly): "Oluo, hurry and let go of the lance corporal now!"

Oluo (not listening, starting to cry): "Lance corporal..."

Levi (struggling): "Argh! Oluo, you disgusting freak! Let go of me, dammit!"

\--End of extra 1.1--

 

Extra 1.2: What about Eld?

 ((Don't forget that Eld comes to the Smith household every Mondays and Fridays to maintain the garden. The day today, or at least in the story, is Monday.))

Eld: _*Sighs* Time to get to work today. Its been about 3 days since I last came here. The garden still looks pretty neat though. Alright! Time to get started. *Bends down to carry his gardening tools* I wonder if there's anything new today..._

_[About 3-4 hours later...]_

_[Eld hears Oluo and Petra in the background]_

Petra: "Hey, hey Oluo. Did you see lance corporal just now? He was so adorable!"

Oluo: "When is he not adorable?" 

_[Oluo and Petra's conversation continues. Eld gets pissed. He stands up]_

Eld (shouting): "DAMMIT!!! WHY HASN'T ANYONE COME TO GREET ME YET!? HAVE I BEEN FORGOTTEN!?"

Author: (("No, no, no honey. You have not been forgotten. No worries, just hang in there. You'll get to meet with your dear lance corporal soon! Okay, that did not sound right.")) 

\--End of extra 1.2--

 

January 26, 19XX

Extra 1.3: Ear plugs

_[Levi takes out ear plugs. Looks at them]_

Levi: I bought these on the way here. I hope this works. *Inserts ear plugs in ears*

_[Hanji enters the classroom. Slams book onto the teacher's desk]_

Hanji (enthusiastically): "Alright, let's begin! Everyone turn to page 105."

Levi: _This isn't so bad. At least most of her voice is muffled now._

_[10 minutes later]_

_[Levi is doing fine so far with listening to Hanji's muffled voice]_

_[15 minutes later]_

_[Levi starts to get a little bored, slightly sleepy as well]_

_[ 25 minutes later]_

_[Levi is starting to get annoyed. Trying his best to stay awake]_

_[35 minutes later]_

_[Levi looks as if he was dying]_

Levi: _I stand...corrected. Oh god... How much longer must I listen to her crap? Someone, anyone, just shut her up already._

\--End of extra 1.3--

 

Extra 1.4: Armin's survival guide

_[In classroom, during break time]_

Levi: "Hey, you! Mushroom head!"

Kid (shocked): "Y-yeah?"

Levi: "What's your name?"

Kid (answering nervously): "A-Armin Arlet."

Levi: "Armin, huh? I see. Alright, I got a question for you. How do you stand listening to four- I mean Miss Zoe's lessons?"

Armin: "Erm... I beg your Pardon?"

Levi: "You heard me. How do you stand listening to Miss Zoe's lessons when everyone is probably on the verge of death before it even started?"

Armin: "Well, actually... I wasn't really listening to her."

Levi: "Wha-!?"

Armin: "I'm actually making my own notes for whatever chapter she was teaching that day." *Takes out notes and shows it to Levi* "See? I was never listening to her in the first place!"

Levi: _This kid...is indeed a genius!_

\-- End of extra 1.4--

 

January 27, 19XX

Extra 1.5: Enemies

_[Homeroom time, free period]_

Eren (a little nervous): "H-Hey Levi! Do you still remember me? I'm Eren."

Levi: *Look up from book (that Hanji passed him)* "Hmm? Yeah, of course."

Eren (still a little nervous; blushing): "Y-You know... I don't really get much chance to talk to you so..."

Levi: *sigh* "Just spit it out, kid. What do you want from me?"

Eren (nervous now): "C-Can we get to know each other better. I-I mean since you sit beside me, I thought that maybe we should get to know each other more. You know...like what your favorite color? Or-or what's your favorite food? Do you have any friends? What do you like?

_[Levi and Eren starts having a conversation. Mikasa, who is sitting at her sit, saw it and is not happy about it. She walks over to them]_

Mikasa: "Hey, short-stuff!"

Eren (shocked): !!! "M-Mikasa! W-What are you doing!?"

Levi: *Turns his attention to her* "Hmm?"

Mikasa (glares at Levi; ignores Eren): "I don't know why...but I don't like you."

Levi: "Oh? How frank. Well, I don't like you either."

Mikasa: "I don't like how you behave with Eren."

Levi: "Well, I don't like your attitude."

Mikasa: "I don't like your haircut."

Levi: "I don't like your scarf."

Mikasa: "I don't like your face."

Levi: "I don't like your tone."

Mikasa (glaring intensifies): "Shorty."

Levi: "Emo."

Mikasa: "Fish-eyes."

Levi: "B*tch."

Mikasa (surprised yet anygry at the same time): *Gasps* "Grr... That's it! Come on Eren, let's go! We're leaving." *Grabs Eren and drags him by his shirt*

Eren (struggling): "W-Wait! I'm not done yet! Argh! Stop it!"

_[Levi watches Mikasa dragging Eren away]_

Levi: _Owned_ *continues to read his book*

\--End of extra 1.5--

 

Extra 1.6: Veggies

_[Back home, kitchen]_

Petra: "What's wrong, Gunther?"

Gunther (sadly): "It's lance corporal. He wouldn't eat his veggies."

Petra: "What!? T-Then wouldn't he become unhealthy?"

Gunther: "Yeah."

Petra: "Well, no worries. I'll go convince him!"

Oluo: "What makes you so sure that he'll listen to you?"

Petra: "Oluo..."

Oluo: "Even if I'm the lance corporal, I wouldn't listen to someone like you."

Petra (shocked for words): "W-WHAT!? W-Who said so!?"

Oluo: "Because I said so, therefore you can forget about your plan, woman."

Petra (pissed): "Oluo!" *Stepping angrily towards him*

_[Gunther grabs Petra by the arm]_

Gunther: "Just go convince him already."

Petra:*Glares at Oluo* "I'll show you..."

-Dining room- 

Petra: "G-good afternoon, sir."

Levi: "Yeah. Good afternoon."

_[Gunther and Oluo secretly watches Petra]_

Petra: "Y-You know... Veggies are good for you, so I think you should eat them."

Levi: "There's no way I'm eating this gross sh*t"

_[Insert a "knife" with the words: 'gross sh*t' stabbing Gunther. Gunther goes to emo at a corner]_

Petra: "But if you don't eat them you'll-"

Levi: "Stop, Petra. That's enough. I'm not eating them, and it's final."

_[Petra goes back to the kitchen to join Gunther]_

Oluo: "Ha! You see? What did I tell you? Now it's my turn. See how a professional does it!"

_[Oluo goes into the dining room]_

Oluo: "Lance corporal-"

Levi: "No."

_[Insert a "rock" with the words: 'immediately rejected' falling onto Oluo's head. Oluo goes back into the kitchen to join Petra and Gunther]_

_[Erwin enters the dinning room and saw Levi sitting down at the table, staring at the veggies on his plate]_

Erwin: "What wrong, Levi?"

Levi: "I don't want to eat the veggies."

_[Trio hears Erwin's voice. Immediately got up to see what was going on, secretly]_

Erwin: "Oh come on, Levi. Don't be like this. Come, I'll feed you."

_[Sat next to Levi. Takes a scoop of the veggies]_

Erwin: "Say 'ah'..."

Levi (blushing):*opens mouth wide* "Ah..."

_[Levi finally eats his veggies thanks to Erwin. The trio, who was secretly watching them, was touched]_

Gunther: "Amazing!"

Petra: "So cool!"

Oluo (crying): "So emotional!"

Mike: "So beautiful." 

Trio: !!! "When did you get here!?"

\--End of extra 1.6--


	5. Memory recovery attempt #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi tries to recover Erwin's memory using the 'old fashion' way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic. It has been a while since I've last updated because I was extremely busy with life. Calculations have killed most of my creativity as well as a really long one-shot story I've written a few weeks ago. Updates will be slowed down from now on due to my busy schedule, but I'll will still try my very best to update. Also, thank you guys for all of your support!

28 January, 19XX

It's morning and I've finally finished the book. I do not understand the entire thing, only several parts of it. I've jotted down whatever I understood and made a list:

1) Amnesia ((the partial or total loss of memory)) can be caused either by diseases or an injury to the head.

2) It is highly recommeneded to seek professional help immediately (like the doctors will understand me anyway).

3) In some cases, memories can be regained by exposing the person to familar sounds or objects - but it is not guaranteed.

I looked at the piece of paper where I had scribbled on. It looked rather short. I sighed, realizing that I only have Hanji whom I can turn to for help when it comes to these matters. As I was walking down the corridor, I bumped into Petra. I fell onto the floor. The book in my hand, along with my note, dropped as well. Petra quickly turned around to help me up.

"I-I'm so sorry, lance corporal! I didn't realize that you were walking behind me," said Petra as she helped to picked up my book and paper.

"Nah, it's okay. I should be getting used to people not being able to notice me that easily," I said while brushing the dust off of my shirt and pants.

"Lance coporal, are you alright? You seem... a little different," said Petra as she hands me my book.

"Is that so? Looks like my brain must've gotten damaged while trying to understand 'the hell's this book is saying," I replied. Petra just gave a soft chuckle. I guessed she wasn't sure if I was telling a joke or just making a statement.

"You know," said Petra as she picks up the broom again (she was sweeping the floor just now). "Whenever I forget something, I'll always try to approach my friends for help. Though for most of the time, my memory just returns to me whenever I hit my head onto something hard, like a table or something."

_Hitting your head... That's it! I've figured it out! I know how to get Erwin's memories back!_

I told Petra that I'll be heading to the dining room and went off. My mind was in a mess and there was a slight feeling of anger. I was upset with myself.

_Why didn't I think of this sooner? It's so simple! If an injury to the head can make someone loose their memory, then another one would bring it back! Now if I could just figure out how to land a blow onto Erwin's head..._

Before I realize it, I was already at the dining room entrance. Mrs Smith was standing there, putting down the plates of food on the table. It has been quite a while since I last saw her. I was surprised that I was still able to recognize her. Somehow at the bottom of my heart, there was a slight tinge of jealousy. 

"Ah," she said when she noticed me. "Good morning, Levi! It's been a while now, hasn't it? Do you still remember me?"

"Yeah, you're mom aren't you?" I replied.

"That's right! I'm really glad that you still remembered me. I've heard you've started school, how was it?" 

She shot me with a barrage of questions, much like how my team had done after I had returned from school. She later told me that Erwin would not be waking up so early due to the fact that he worked late last night. After the meal, Mrs Smith got up and took her bag that was placed next to her chair. 

"I'll be back at 3 today, so be good while I'm gone." She left the house after that. Who would've thought that she was such a busy woman? Now the question of 'what does she work as?' surfaces in my mind. However, there wasn't time for that. When I was done with my food, I got down from my chair, carrying the plate to the kitchen. I opened the kitchen door, only to see a sleeping Sasha and a busy Gunther. 

I closed my eyes and sighed for the second time. I walked up to Gunther, greeting him at the same time. Gunther's sleeves were rolled up to his elbows as he washes the mountains of plates laid out next to him. He did not react much when I gtreeted him. He was far too busy with his current task.

"So what's up with Sasha? Why's she sleeping?" I asked as I handed Gunther another plate for him to wash. Somehow, I felt rather bad and had this urge to wash those plates...if only I was tall enough to reach the sink. 

"Oh, Sasha? Well... she was busy cooking lots of different dishes last night, trying to create a new one. Somehow she wasn't successful, ate all the food, got tired and fell asleep," explained Gunther while trying to scrub off a possible stain on the plates.

"She slept in this kitchen ALL night?" I asked. The kitchen, as I can see, was in a rather filthy condition. The ingredients were not kept properly and there are opened sauce bottles on the floor and sauce stains on the walls. The kitchen table where Sasha was sleeping at was filled with bits and pieces of used ingredients. It was absolutely disgusting.

"Uh-huh. It seems that she really slept here all night, from the way I see it," replied Gunther.

"Gross," I muttered under my breath. I looked around the kitchen. It was then I laid my eyes on the object that would potentially get Erwin his memories back. I tugged at Gunther's white cook uniform. He turned his head and looked down at me. 

"I need to borrow that," I said, pointing to the object.

~~~~~

With the object in hand, I crept into Erwin's room. I was quite hesitant about my actions, but I told myself that all of this was for Erwin. My heart started beating faster and louder while adrenaline rushed though my veins. I was sweating profusely by the time I reached the side of Erwin's bed. Erwin was still sleeping like a baby. I gulped while getting my body into position. Just as I was about to strike Erwin, he started moving. He's awake now.

I hid the object behind me on instinct and watched Erwin as he squirms in his bed. How I wish I was next to him in his bed right now. He then rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to get his eyes to adjust to his surroundings. He tilted his head little towards the door and spotted me, standing directly next to his bed. He took him a moment or two to realize who I was.

"Levi, is that you?" he asked in a sleepy voice. My face became entirely red. His sleepy voice has always been a turn-on. "What time is it?"

"It's erm...10," I said, glancing to a nearby clock in Erwin's bedroom.

"10, huh? Looks like I need to get to work soon," said Erwin as he helped himself up. He got out from the bed after sometime. As he was leaving the room, he spotted what I was trying to hide behind my back.

"Levi, what are you doing with that frying pan?" He asked while pointing at it. I was completely caught off guard, though I should have expected this.

"I was uh...playing 'cooking'?" I replied, forcing a smile onto my usual nonchalant face.

Erwin looked at me suspiciously. At that point, I knew I was probably going to get screwed by him. I was prepared for the worst, however, he miraculously let me off. I watched him leave the room before following him. I've lost my chance, but I'm not giving up. 

For the entire morning, I stalked Erwin around the house. I followed him wherever he went (exept to the washroom). Whenever he turned around to notice me, I would always act like an innocent little child that he thinks I am. I realized how tiring stalking Erwin could be. He did not stay in one place, but moved around every few minutes. I later found out that Erwin was helping out with the chores as Oluo had fallen ill and is taking a leave. I went to the dining room and sat there, feeling defeated. I was on the verge of giving up when I heard Erwin coming into the kitchen. This is my chance, I can't afford to miss it now. 

I got off my chair excitedly and climbed onto a high platform. I then hid behind the wall, waiting for the right time to strike. It was at that moment when Erwin enetered the room, that I leaped off from the platform. I swung the frying pan as hard as I could (though not enough to kill him). _CRASH!_   Erwin fell onto the ground, eyes closed.

 _Is he dead or is he simply unconcious?_ I questioned in my heart. I walked over silently and knelt down onto the floor, putting down the frying pan. I shook him gently, calling out his name several times. There was no response. I shook him harder, but apparently there was none too. I started to panic. 

"Dad!" I cried out, almost crying. Mike, who was just passing by, rushed into the dining room just in time. He immediately called for help.

Shortly after, a doctor came to our house with a bag full of who-knows-what and so did Mrs Smith. I sat outside of Erwin's bedroom, saddened, while Mike, Mrs Smith and the doctor was inside. After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor finally left. Just as I got up to enter Erwin's room, the door opened in front of me. It was Mrs Smith, and she does not look pleased.

"I've never thought that I will say this but, you're grounded for the rest of the week, young man. Now go apologize to your father and stay in your room after that!" she shouted. She was clearly upset, which was understandable, but her scolding just made me felt even more guilty. I entered Erwin's room, feeling extremely remourseful for the first time in my entire life. 

Mike was there, standing next to Erwin. He didn't speak a word, meanwhile, Erwin was sitting down at the side of the bed. He rubbed his hand around his foreheard. Like Mrs Smith, I felt really upset that my loved one was hurt, except for the fact that I was the one who caused it. I stayed near the entrance of the room, half of my body hidden behind the wall.

"I-I'm really sorry, dad. I really didn't mean it," I said, sounding as apologetic as possible. I didn't want to ruin our relationship. "I-"

"Stop," said Erwin, holding up his hand. "I understand you didn't mean it, but right now, I just want to be alone for a while."

Erwin's words stabbed me like a knife. I walked briskly towards my room, ignoring Petra who was just as equally concerned as me about Erwin. Tears started pouring down my face. I couldn't hold them back any longer. For the next hour or so, I spent my time hiding in my room crying secretly. I knew that in my mind that crying over such things was childish, but my heart could not take the pain.

I've hurt Erwin and that was a fact that I could not deny. Petra was innocent and this was my idea. I don't know if Erwin had forgiven me but I'll just have to make it up to him somehow. It was also crystal clear that asking Hanji for help would be the best option no matter how hard I try to deny it. 

_Tomorrow... I'll ask Hanji for help tomorrow and hopefully, everything will be fine by then... I hope._


	6. Apologies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi fixes his mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally found sometime to update this fic! It has been about a month because I've been bogged down with loads of homework lately. Though, thank you all for taking your time to read this fic. Updates will still be slow but surely, I'll try me best to update. This chapter is quite short because it's quite late at night now and I've got school tomorrow. Do let me know if you spot any errors. I'll be happy to change them for you guys. But until then, please enjoy this fic!

29 January, 19XX

A new week starts again. Erwin walked me to school, however, today is a little different. The entire journey was a silent one. Usually Erwin would talk about the random on-goings of the world while I just get distracted by the surrounding scenes, but today, I hadn't heard a single word from Erwin. Not even a simple 'good morning'. He held my hand as always, but the excitement and the warmth I always felt when he did that was gone. Instead, it was replaced with guilt and frustration. Erwin is definitely still mad at me and I have yet to make it up to him. 

I looked up to see his face while we're walking. A calm and composed expression was what I saw. There wasn't any sign of anger on that face yet the aura he gives off just says it all. A part of me is screaming 'he's dangerous, get away from him' but another tells me that I am responsible for this. Running away would simply mean that I'm trying to escape from responsibility. From experiences in my past life, running from your responsibility would only bring you more trouble, which honestly speaking, is a pain in the ass. Running away isn't my style either, so I'll have to somehow make it up to Erwin, and fast.

After a rather agonizing walk to school, it's time for Erwin to get back to work. He left me at the school's front gate before turning to leave. It felt sort of weird to just watch him leave like that. The words I wanted to say right now are just at the tip of my tongue but saying it is another matter.

"S-See you later," I shouted after gathering up my courage. I added a 'dad' at the back softly because even till now, calling him 'dad' still feels weird. Erwin paused for a moment to look at me and gave me a slight nod before walking off. There's another wound in my heart now. 

Seconds on the clock tick away effortlessly as I sat through my lessons thinking about Erwin. What should I say? What should I do? Such questions went through my head for the last few hours yet I had not found my answer. The bell rang and it was time for recess. The students ran out of the classroom with great joy like prisoners who were just freed after being locked up and tortured for decades. The only people left in the classroom were me and Hanji. 

I stayed put at my seat while Hanji walks over and sat at the table next to me. She then shifted the table next to mine while I was looking out of the window. Once she got close to me, she stood up and leaned in to the side of my face.  Being someone I knew for quite a while in the survey corps, Hanji was one of the few people who was able to see through my cold-hearted and rather expressionless face. 

"Hmm...you look kinda upset today, is there something wrong?" she asked. Something tells me that she knew she was asking the obvious. "It's got to do with Erwin now, isn't it?" she added.

I tilted my head slightly to the back and look at her from the corner of my eye. I then closed my eyes and sighed. Hanji sat back down and this time, shifted her seat closer to me so she could hear me better. I wasn't the type to complain but Hanji was the only one I can turn to right now. She's also one of those few people that knew Erwin quite well and the others being Nile and Mike. I have absolutely no clue where Nile is and Mike doesn't have his memories so those two are out of the question, which only leaves Hanji. Once she's ready and settled down into her seat, I told her everything. From how I got the idea of hitting Erwin in the head to how it ended with him being mad and me sobbing in my room.

When I'm done telling her my story, Hanji suddenly broke out in laughter. I told her my troubles and this is what I get!? Clearly, she's rubbing salt onto my wound. I got mad, stood up, grabbed her by the collars of her shirt and dragged her close to my face. She was still laughing.

"Oi! Stop laughing, you shitty four-eyes! I told you my troubles and this is what I get!?" I shouted directly into her face. She stopped laughing almost immediately at that moment. I finally got her attention again. Once I was done, I let go of her collar and sat back into my seat, even more bothered and pissed off than how I started. Hanji adjusted her shirt to make herself look more presentable again.

"Okay, okay, Levi I'm sorry about that. Please forgive me okay?" said Hanji with hardly any hints of remorse in her tone. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Hanji knew she was forgiven and continued.

"You know...honestly speaking, not everyone is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes just like you, but that's what make us human. It's normal for one to do something stupid like that once in a while," comforted Hanji, though her words has yet to reach me completely.

"But for _you_  to do something silly like this, I guess the love sickness must have been catching on to you, huh?" she continued in a half-joking tone.

"Love...sickness?" I asked. This was a term I had never heard before, even though I used to be in an intimate relationship with _a certain someone._  

"Well... from what I heard when I was still a student, it just a term to indicate that you are desperate. Desperate to _be_ loved that is. It usually happens when a partner, after being separated from their other half for a period of time, starts to crave for their love. Most of these types of people usually end up doing something stupid, like what you did yesterday," Hanji explained to me.

"So I'm suffering from this thing called 'love sickness'?" I asked. Hanji giggled a little.

"Most likely. But no worries, it'll go away after sometime," she assured me. Still, I could not be at peace.

"Then...what about Erwin? What should I do with him?" I asked, my heart still desperate for an answer.

"Hmm...Well...Erwin isn't the type to brood over things, so I'm sure he'll be back to normal after a few days or so," said Hanji.

"So you're saying I should just wait for this to be over just like that?" I asked, slightly agitated by her response.

"You could do that or... If you're really, _really_ desperate, you could make the first move," she suggested. Ideas are starting to come to me, but I needed to sort it out. Meanwhile, I asked Hanji about memories on our past lives again.

"I've visited the library on that issue and I couldn't find anything. I'll be going to the church sometime this week for my weekly prayers. Maybe I'll go ask the pastor about this, hopefully, he'll be able to give me some answers. Meanwhile, why don't you just focus on Erwin?" she said. I agreed with her. With that, we've got out plans set for now.

Art class was after recess. The art teacher had introduced herself and 'Miss Ymir'. The name somehow sounded familiar, like I had heard it from someone talking about her before though I can't quite put my finger on who. Art class was extremely messy. With brats being brats, they messed up the entire classroom with paint and paper balls everywhere. Dodging flying paint brushes wasn't as easy as when you have a 3DMG. While the class was being chaotic and Ymir cracked at the last minute, making everyone shut up, I took the time to create a card. A card with my apology written inside it. When it was time to go home, I dropped by the school store to buy a fake rose. I hid the card and the rose in my bag carefully. I bid Hanji adieu and Erwin came to pick me up. It was another silent walk back home.

I did my homework and stuff, like always. I ate dinner with Erwin, though the difference that night was that we were both sitting at the opposite ends of the table. Mrs. Smith had to work overtime that day, so she didn't come back for dinner. While Erwin was washing the dishes, I sneaked into his office and placed the rose and card. I then went back to my room as quickly as I could without anyone notice me, though I think I was spotted by Oluo on my way up the stairs. 

I pretended to sleep, back facing the door and blanket covering up to half of my face. After sometime, I could hear heavy footsteps and the door opening. No doubt that those footsteps belonged to Erwin. My suspicions were confirmed when he sat next to me and whispered something to my ear.

"Levi, are you awake? If you are, then I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have ignored you too much and instead tried to work things out with you. I hope you can forgive me." He then kissed my cheeked and whispered a 'good night' to me. 

I could finally rest easy but the problem hasn't gone away yet. I still need to recover Erwin's lost memories. 


	7. Reasons for lost memories (& P.E class)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi meets his P.E teacher and discovers some answers to the mysteries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally have sometime to update. This chapter will be longer compared to the previous one in order to make up for it. Updates will still be slow but I'll still try my best to update. Anyway, new chapter, enjoy! Thank you for reading. Comments are much appreciated :)  
> P.S if Levi sounds out of character here, I'm terribly sorry. It gets hard to write after a while.

2 February, 19XX

I've been spending the last three to four days rebuilding my 'father-and-son' relationship with Erwin. At least it doesn't feel awkward when he walks me to school now. Even so, the problem still remains. How do I get Erwin's memory back? Hanji might have an answer and she better have one because I'm starting to get sick and tired of waiting.

One of today's lesson was Physical Education or P.E for short. For the past few weeks, our teacher has been absent due to a serious illness but today I heard that he's coming back. I wasn't sure if I'm supposed to be happy or sad about it because I was just starting to get used to our substitute teacher. When it was time for P.E, everyone assembled in the gym. Everyone has either anxious or excited about meeting their 'real' P.E teacher, but as for me, I was neither. I was pretty much fine with anyone as long as they could do their damn job right. A few minutes later, the gym door opened and our teacher entered. My jaw dropped the moment I saw who it was.

The man walking towards us was of middle-aged, or at least he seems like it. He was pretty much bald and has wrinkles on his forehead. He also has dark circles around his eyes which probably suggested that he hasn't been sleeping much. He also wore a dark blue jacket and long, black track pants. As his jacket wasn't zipped, I could see that he was wearing a plain, white shirt underneath his jacket. I analysed him from head to toe. 

 _Hasn't changed much_ , I thought as I watched him stop in front of the entire class.

"Alright class, listen up! I'm Keith Shadis, your phys ed teacher, but you are to address me as Mr Shadis. For the past few weeks, I've been hospitalised due to a serious illness, but now I'm back. As such, I hope that all of you are prepared for my lesson because I'm going to mould you into the fit young man or young lady that you're supposed to be. Is that clear!?" shouted Keith in a rather hoarse voice. 

"Y-Yes sir! " the class replied like terrified soldiers. I simply rolled my eyes and sighed. Something tells me that he's going to treat the class like how he would treat his cadets in the past and I was right about it when he gave his next instruction. 

"For a start, I want all of you to run five rounds around this gym. No cutting of corners or you'll get it from me, is that clear!?" instructed Keith in his loud, commanding voice.

"Yes sir!" the class replied, obviously not used to the way that Keith does his things, though that wasn't the case with me. The class got up afterwards and started their run. The substitute teacher hardly does any of these physical conditioning stuff, like running or sit-ups or the like. She would usually organise games for us to play but even so, I wasn't interested in playing with the class though I was noted by the teacher to have shown remarkable physical abilities. It wasn't even three rounds when the class started to feel tired.

The gym was quite big in the first place (either that or I'm just too small) so it wasn't that surprising. I looked to my left and my right. I then realised just how unfit the class was. There was quite number of overweight little brats. I assumed that they were either from rich families, either that or they were just unlucky enough to be born that way. From what I could remember about the past, the ones who are usually fat like pigs are the ones from the upper class. Rich bastards who couldn't give a shit about the poor and only spent money on themselves. I wondered if the present time still had a hierarchy like that. Life was really unfair back then. I was pulled back into reality when I heard a thud on the wooden flooring of the gym.

I stopped in my tracks and turned to look behind me. It was Armin and he was kneeling on the floor with one of his arms supporting his body. He was panting heavily. It wasn't much of a surprise as well that Armin was one of the first few people to collapse. Eren and Mikasa who were nearby rushed towards him.

"Armin, Armin! Are you okay there!?" cried Eren with a worried look on his face. Mikasa was right behind him. 

Both Mikasa and Eren knelt beside Armin. Eren tried to talk to Armin while Mikasa patted his back in an attempt to calm him. I looked at Armin and studied him for a brief moment. In my eyes, I saw that he had the potential to continue so I walked up to him. I immediately received Mikasa's hostility. 

"What do you want?" she said, glaring at me with eyes that speaks of hostility.

Eren looked at my direction as well but did not say a word. I calmly walked towards them, ignoring Mikasa's glare. 

"Armin, get up," I ordered. Armin immediately looked up and finally made eye contact with me. His expression was almost 'blank' and his eyes were looked very drowsy. He was obviously tired but I knew that he was capable of doing more. 

"Get up? You must be crazy. He should be resting now, not running. I think that you need to get your eyes checked," said Mikasa in a defensive tone. 

"Shut up, this isn't your business," I replied. Mikasa growled at me and was about to attack me when Eren grabbed her by her arm. Mikasa turned to look at Eren only to see an expression that said "trust him". She sighed and went back to her usual composed self, but her anger still remains even if she doesn't show it on her face. 

"Armin, get up. I know you're tired right now but get up in your feet. Just because you think that you're weak doesn't mean that you really are weak. You have to believe in your own abilities sometimes. When facing challenges, don't just give up because you think you can't overcome it. You have to try even if it cost you your life. You can only archive something if you fight for it." As I spoke those words, an image of Erwin flashed in my mind. Not the present Erwin, but the Erwin from the past. The Erwin that fought tooth and nail for the victory of mankind against the titans. The image of Erwin in that green cloak with the legion's emblem was at the back of my mind. I quickly snapped out of my daze to observe Armin's expression.

He did not say anything for a few moments but something tells me that my words have gone through him. His expression changed to that of someone with a strong resolve.

"You're right," he muttered as he pushed himself to stand up. "You're right. I should believe in myself. I can't just stay in my comfort zone all the time. I can do this... I can do this!" With that, Armin ran off with a new sense of resolve. Eren and Mikasa was stunned at first but smiled at each other and ran off after Armin. 

"I owe you one." I faintly heard Mikasa saying that. As I was about to resume my run, Keith called me. Next him was Hanji, waving to me in the most cliché manner with a big fat smile on her face. She seems to be in a very good mood today. I walked over to them.

"Your teacher here wants to speak with you," said Keith. I shifted my eyes to Hanji who was squealing with joy for who-knows-what reason. She grabbed me by my wrist and dragged me off to a corner. She could hardly contain the excitement about she wants to say.

"I have some _really_ good news for you!" said Hanji joyfully. Somehow I have an idea about the topic she wants to discuss.

"Let me guess, is it about titans?" I said, half sarcastically.

"Nope, but I wished it was. What I want to say is that I've finally found out about the possible cause for Erwin's, and other people's, memory loss. Isn't that good!?" she said, almost letting out another ear-piercing squeal. I brightened up on the idea that I can now finally know what is the cause for all of this mess. 

"But, can't you save this for recess?" I asked.

"No can do. I've got loads of paperwork to clear ever since I erm... forgot to bring 'em home yesterday..." she replied nervously. 

I stared at her with suspicions, and she cracked a smile. She knows that I've seen through her lie.

"Sure you did. Anyway, what's the cause for all of this shit?"

"Well, I talked to my pastor earlier today. He said that the reason some people still have their memories is because they still have some regrets left. Their souls may have reluctantly crossed over to 'the other side' but they still have lingering regrets left in their hearts. These regrets are the ones that are making the memories stay in the person's mind."

"So in other words, those people with memories are the ones who have unfinished business?"

"Yup! And those people who have no recollections are the ones who have left the earth with no regrets or whatsoever."

"Hmm... Are the memories permanent, then?"

"Not really, they disappear overtime once the person have finished his business or that the person has no more regrets."

"I see..."

I waved good bye to Hanji and continued my run after that. What she had just said had been replaying in my mind since then. The feeling of regret or having unfinished business. The reason for Hanji's regret is somewhat obvious. Though as for myself, what am I regretting? What sort of unfinished business do I have? Didn't I told myself to make choice that I won't regret? Scenes from _that_ time appeared in my mind. 

_Erwin... You must have left this world before without regrets. How envious..._

Later that day, we were given a form for a class field trip to Trost Farm that will take place two days from now. I never really liked animals since they are all so filthy, all except for my own horse. I wonder where it went after _that_. The form also stated that we can invite our parents along for the picnic that is going to be held after exploring the farm. I know which parent I'm going to invite but who I might meet there on the farm is a different story altogether. I kept the form in my bag and walked out of the school feeling a little relieved. I now know what's the cause for the memory loss as well as why some of us still have our memories.

I wondered if I could get back Erwin's memory on the farm visit. For once, I actually have something that I look forward to.


	8. The farm visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day for the farm visit finally arrives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I found some time to update this fic. Had a writer's block and exams, but that's all over now. Updates will still be slow but I'll do so whenever I can. Anyway, please enjoy this update (it's longer, I think) and let me know if you have any suggestions for improvements or if I had made any mistakes :)

4th February 19XX

The day for the farm visit has finally arrived. As I had planned, I invited Erwin along and Mrs. Smith, as usual, is busy with work. Sometimes I wonder how do they maintain their relationship when they hardly saw each other. That was probably another mystery that I have yet to solve. Transport to the farm was provided by the school. Both parents and children had to first assemble at the school for attendance taking and other boring admin stuff. I was more interested in getting to spend an entire day with Erwin. The thought of just being together really brings back memories and I blushed when I remembered how our dates always ended. It was always just me and Erwin inside a bedroom naked, making love throughout the night. I can feel blood rushing to my face at this point. I turned to look at Erwin who was standing at a corner of the foyer, talking with other parents.

Erwin was wearing a plain blue shirt, a pair of dark blue jeans held onto his waist by a brown leather belt and sneakers. Honestly speaking, if Erwin hadn't introduced himself as my (adoptive) father, he could have easily passed as my older brother. His face was young and his body was considered well-built for a lawyer (in fact, it was probably on par with an athlete's ). Since his shirt fitted his body perfectly, one could see the outline of his muscles on his shirt and damn, he looks hot. If I wasn't a kid, my hand might be underneath his shirt right now, caressing those perfect well-toned abs of his. He still has that charisma that draws people near him and mothers of various ages are now surrounding him. It was a normal sight, yet a part of me actually felt jealous. The more I look at him, the more I felt entranced. As my mind was about to drift off, I felt a light tap on my shoulder.

"Levi~" sang a familiar voice. I immediately snapped out of my half-dazed state and tilted my head slightly upwards. Hanji was staring right at me and was uncomfortably close to my face.

"What do you want?" I asked, half annoyed.

"I called you a couple of times just now but you weren't answering. Are you alright, Levi?" Hanji shot back.

"I'm fine," I replied, eyes already starting to shift back to Erwin. My head was literally facing sideways for the next five to ten minutes (I faintly recall someone mentioning a briefing). Nothing that one of the teachers was saying went into my head. The surrounding noise became softer and softer the more I gazed at Erwin's face. How I wished that I could grow up faster.

~~~~~~

The bus ride to the farm was kind of awkward. While the other kids (more like little brats) are happily yapping away, I was sitting next to Erwin quietly, legs side-by-side and hands placed firmly on my knees. I was facing downwards with my hair just nicely covering almost half of my face, enough to hide my blushing face from Erwin. I tried to keep myself as calm as possible. If this is how it feels like to restrict yourself from being all lovey-dovey with your lover for weeks, I would rather let myself get eaten by a titan. The urge to touch your partner romantically (if you know what I mean) and seduce him to bed is strong. Now I know how Erwin probably feels when I'm mad at him and refuse to see or talk to him for days, or even weeks sometimes. The tension in my heart builds up more as the time passes by and the feeling of Hanji secretly observing me from the back made the feeling worse. Finally, Erwin decided to break the silence with some small talk.

"So... That teacher of yours. She's Miss Zoe, right? How were her lessons? Were they fun?" Erwin asked.

"Yeah..." I could hear my voice slowly fade as I spoke.

"Well, that's a relief. She seemed like an enthusiastic teacher to me," said Erwin happily. 

 _Yeah, VERY enthusiastic,_ a voice in my head told me.

So for the next half an hour or so, Erwin and I were talking about Hanji. The chatting helped to ease my tension a little. I never good at small talks, but with Erwin it was different. He was like some sort of a magic drug that helped me to overcome my difficulties, such as small talks in this case. I could hear Hanji sneezing at the back somewhere during our conversation. The bus stopped moving after a while, and we knew that we've reached the farm.

~~~~~~

"Alright~ Is everyone here? Now if everyone would hold still for a moment while I do a head count," announced Hanji shortly after we got off the bus. The farm was situated at a remote part of the land. It was neither exactly at the countryside nor was it in the city, since you could actually see some of the city buildings from the farm. There was a big barn painted in the shade of maroon with a huge stretch of grass patches surrounding the building. There were many different types of animals scattered around the farm and the wooden fences around the perimeter helped to prevent those animals from escaping. Towering evergreen trees behind the fences and across the farm gave the entire place a tranquil atmosphere. "Okay! Seems that everyone is here. Now let me introduce our guides for today!"

"Hello everyone! I'm Jean Kirstein and this is my best friend whose helping me out today, Marco Bodt," Jean greeted with a warm smile on his face. "Welcome to the Kirstein family farm."

I nearly spat out the water that was in my mouth (I needed a drink after the whole bus ride). I've never met Marco before so I do not know him, but I did work with Jean for a while after he joined my squad. Jean was a honest man and very direct in his speech. He also usually has quite the serious look on, probably because he knows the situation really well and is always on the alert for danger or the next instruction. However in this life, he seemed to be far more relaxed. It could either be because of the place he grew up in (which was the farm) or because all the titans are gone. I let my mind ponder about Jean's change in character for a while before analysing his best friend.

'Optimistic' and 'kind' were one of the few words that came to my mind when I look at Marco. Both were wearing plaid shirts, jeans and boots. They even wore matching cowboy hats. There is a line between 'best friends' and 'boyfriends', I'm not sure what Erwin thought about those two but to me, they were clearly smudging that line. 

"I hope you kids are excited, because it's going to be a long day!" said Marco. I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Erwin asked, concerned.

"N-Nothing," I answered, stuttering in my response. 

"If that's the case then let's go see those animals!" In the blink of an eye, I was lifted up from the ground. Erwin decided that he'd carry me as we tour around the farm. On one hand, I was glad that I did not have to walk on the muddy pathway but on the other hand, I was embarrassed. Most of the other kids were walking on the uneven ground, holding hands with their parents for safety except for Eren. He was being carried by Mikasa on her shoulder, which I think was most likely forced by Mikasa herself, while Armin was trotting behind them. I felt like palming myself in the face when my gut suddenly told me that Hanji is laughing at me for being carried around like a baby by Erwin. I heard a faint snicker and traced the sound back to its owner, it was Hanji, following the class at the back. My gut was right after all, I gave her a menacing glare. Luckily, she understood what it means and stopped, later enjoying the farm's scenery in an attempt to feign innocence. _Damned four-eyes._

For most parts of the farm visit, I was holding my pinching my nose, hoping not to inhale any of the dust fluttering around the barn or the stench of animal shit. After several agonizing hours, we came to the second last part of the farm trip which was a horse riding performance. There was a mini stadium somewhere around the farm where visitors can enjoy performances by the volunteers and their pets or the farmers and the barn animals. This time, it was the latter. Erwin put me down bench. I was a little irritated with the fact that he just put me down without even checking if the bench was clean. I was about to get up to check the bench's cleanliness when Erwin just sat down on my right. All thoughts about getting up was erased.

A man who introduced himself as Jean's father stood in the middle of the stadium with a microphone in hand. He greeted the audience then proceeded to briefly introduce the show. I put on my usual monotonous expression, arms crossed over my chest.  _I wanna go home already. Can't this day end any faster?_ I thought.

A gunshot was heard and the side gates of the stadium opened. Several horses dashed into the sandy grounds of the building. The way the riders rode their horses really reminded me of the times when survey corps was travelling beyond the walls. Arranged in a particular order and galloping under the vast blue skies, avoiding titans that preyed on humans. Those truly were the days, now it's all just a fragment of memory. 

I craned my neck to face Erwin. His face was blank all of a sudden, widened eyes and mouth slightly apart. 

"Dad...?" I called out to him, tugging his right sleeve a few times before I got his attention. "Are you okay?" 

"Huh? Yeah. I'm okay," he responded with his usual reassuring tone. Something was up and I was sure of it.

~~~~~~~

When the show ended, it was time for the long awaited picnic. Everyone was pretty hungry by then, I could feel my own stomach grumbling. We were led to an open area that is a little further away from the barn. Erwin setted up the picnic area while I stood aside holding the food containers, watching Erwin doing everything else. The air was clean and there was a slight breeze to go along with it. The other children were playing about with their friends, and again, I was the only one was not following the crowd. I sat on the yellow-stripped picnic mat, slowly eating the sandwich that had been prepared by Mrs. Smith. The awkward atmosphere was back again. This time, it was I who tried to break the silence.

"So erm... Dad. Why did you suddenly blanked out back there, during the performance I mean," I questioned him, keeping as cool as possible.

"Well... Its just that..." He paused for a while, as if trying to look for the appropriate words to say to a child. "Its just that I felt like I've seen this before. Horse riding, I mean. Though to be precise, it felt as if I've actually ridden on a horse before. " He tried to laugh it off, but it's not going to work with me.

"What else?" I continued to question him.

"Nothing else, but why are you asking me these questions? Could it be that you are concerned about me?"

"Not particularly, I just-" I was cut off when Erwin placed his huge hand on my head.

"Its okay to worry about others. Just means that you're human that's all." Erwin started to ruffle up my hair. As much as I wanted to enjoy it, I couldn't.

 _"Don't the two of you have any human feelings at all!?"_ I remembered hearing that from one of the survey corps members. Painful flashbacks started to replay in my mind. Half eaten corpses lying along the streets, decapitated soldiers strewn across the grasslands and a bloodstained town. My cheeks suddenly felt wet, Erwin stopped ruffling my hair and tilted my head up.

"Levi, why are you crying?" He asked, baffled by my sudden tears. I hugged Erwin on instinct, letting go of the sandwich in my hand.

 "Its nothing, dad. Nothing at all..." The words at the end was muffled as I planted my head into Erwin's abdomen. My vision became blurry and my nose became stuffy. I was a complete mess. Erwin ran his hand through my hair, patting my head as he did so.

_Why now? Why did all these memories appear now? Why am I crying? Do I feel guilty for their deaths? Why...just why am I feeling like this now?_

My face was solemn all the way back to the school. It was as though I had returned from an expedition recently. I held Erwin's hand on the way back home. He was silent as well. When I reached home, the first thing I did was to climb into my bed, hiding my face from the outside world with my pillow. I knew that my old squad members were secretly peeping on me, wanting to know what happened and how they could help. This sort of thing could not be helped. It could only be overcome by the person himself. I was drowning in my own feelings, now I know how it feels like when freshly graduated cadets lost their friends. Perhaps it was my preference to work by myself that led to this feeling. 

 _Maybe all those people wouldn't have died if you had taken on a titan together in a team_ , a voice echoed in my mind. _Then again, there's no point crying over spilt milk now. What's done is done._

_At least... There was progress in recovering Erwin's lost memories..._


	9. The museum trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi goes to the museum with Erwin and his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to find time to update so yeah... Things will start picking up from here. Let me know if I had made any mistakes or suggestions for improvements. Also, thank you for reading! Please enjoy it!

_"Tch, dammit"[Hooks from the 3DMG shoots out]_

_"Spit him out, you son of a bitch!" [slices the titan's mouth]_

_[Titan groans in pain]_

_"I said... SPIT. HIM. OUT!" [Proceeds to inflict a deeper wound at the titan's mouth]_

_[Titan continues to groan; quickly rushes in to kill it. The titan's corpse falls]_

_"Erwin...? Hey Erwin, where are you!? Are you still alive!? Answer me!"_

_[Titans roaring] "L-Lance corporal, look o- Whoa! Hey Mikasa! What are you doing!?"_

_"Saving your life. Look Eren, we've suffered way too many casualties. We can't afford to lose anymore comrades, and you're not someone that we can lose! We need to retreat for now."_

_"B-But, the lance corporal! He-"_

_"He can take care of himself just fine! C'mon now Eren, this is not the time to be arguing. We need to meet up with the others as soon as we can."_

_"Mm...Alright."_

_Nice job Mikasa, for taking Eren away from here. Now I can fight without too many things to worry about._

_[Changes blades]_

_(Mutters) "Okay, time to take care of things from here."_

_I'm sorry Erwin, please hold on a little longer. You'll be home soon, I promise..._

~~~~~~~~~~~

5th February 19XX

"Levi~ Are you in there? Earth to Levi~" sang Hanji with her usual cheerful tone. "Levi!"

"Huh, what?" 

"Levi, are you sure you're okay? You don't look so good..." said Hanji as she adjusts her glasses before leaning in, face just inches apart. Her breath stinks. I turned my head to the side and clicked my tongue.

"Go away," I ordered her. Hanji complied, immediately sitting upright in her chair and taking a sip of coffee from her 'Best Teacher' mug.

For a moment, there was silence. Hanji has always been the type that likes to break the silence, but in this case, she knew better than to keep chatting. Ever since _that_ expedition from years ago, Hanji has always given me the time and space I need to calm down and sort out my thoughts. The nightmare that I had from years ago, came back to haunt me. I know that, and Hanji knows it too. It wasn't long before Hanji starts to open her mouth again.

"So... Anything new to report, soldier?" she asked, half-teasing.

"Sort of...Erwin...seems to have regained a bit of his memories, I think." I was saddened by the fact that he didn't recover _all_ of his memories, but I guess it was progress.

"Recovered a bit of his memories, huh?" Hanji mumbles to herself. Suddenly, there came her signature 'table banging' habit. "So what kind of memories? Was it about the titans? The expeditions? The survey corps?"

"No, no and no. They weren't about those, it was something else entirely..."

"Aww..." Her disappointment was very obvious in both her looks and tone. "So what was it then?"

"Horse riding."

At first, Hanji did not respond. The answer, I assumed, was probably something very unexpected even to someone like her.

"Well... It's still progress... I guess." I nodded my head slightly in agreement. The next minute was then spent waiting for her to give some instructions, or suggestions. After a moment or two, Hanji grabbed her handbag that was hanging by her chair and took out a pamphlet from it. 'Sina Grand Museum' was the heading on it. Hanji passed the pamphlet to me and I started to read it the moment I took it from her hands. 

"So what is it about going to the museum?" I asked, eyes still scanning the finely printed words. 

"Well... I was just thinking, if going to the farm could give Erwin back some of his memories, just imagine what going to the museum would be! With all those antiques and stuff from our time in the past, who knows that maybe Erwin might recover all of his memories? Wouldn't that be great?"

I stared at Hanji, judging her words carefully. If she was right, I could have my old life back, somehow. My eyes returned back to the vibrant coloured paper in my hands. One of the panels on the pamphlet had caught my attention.

_SPECIAL! Titan exhibition_

_6th - 8th February_

_2p.m - 7p.m@ 1st floor, hallway F_

_This exhibition showcases relics from the time of the titans which was centuries ago. From the survival of the people to the heroes known as the Survey Corps to the titans that had stroked fear in the hearts of many people in the past, it would be the biggest exhibition by far! It is a must to visit for any history lovers!_

The weekends were approaching soon, and this was an opportunity that I could not risk not taking. The bell rang, it was time to head back to class. I quickly gulped down my favourite tea, grabbed the pamphlet and bolted back to class. I could faintly remember hearing Hanji shouting 'good luck!'

~~~~~~~~~~

7th February, 19XX

The day that I had awaited much for has finally arrived. The day where Erwin might fully recover his memories may have finally arrived. I sat in the car, legs kicking in excitement. Erwin had never seen me this happy before since I was the type that usually sat still. Mrs. Smith who was sitting at the front, upon noticing my excited, smiled at me. Sitting next to her and driving the car was Mike. Mike had to drive the car because Erwin thinks that there would not be any space in the parking lot and has instructed Mike to drive the car home while we visit the museum. When I looked at Mike's face from the rear view mirror, _that_ bloody scene flashed before my eyes. I shook my head in an attempt to 'shake off' that scene. 

_It's okay, Levi. Mike probably died without regrets since he was confident that Erwin would succeed in his plans. But Erwin... really now... How could you-_

"Levi? What's wrong? Are you okay?" asked Erwin ever so suddenly. My train of thoughts was interrupted. I took in a deep breath to calm myself down.

"Yeah...I'm fine."

"I see. So are you excited going to the museum?"

"Uh-huh."

"So what would you like to see there?"

I quickly fished my pocket for the pamphlet. When I took it out, it was really crumpled. I tried my best to neaten it out and showed the panel that had captured my interest to Erwin. 

"Titan exhibition, huh?" Erwin read out from the pamphlet. "What do you think, honey?"

"Hmm...That's a great choice actually. A friend of mine who had seen the exhibition said it was really worth making the trip down to the museum just to see that," said Mrs. Smith, in the middle of putting on her make-up.

The three of us, me, Erwin and Mrs Smith, ended up discussing about the new exhibition while Mike kept silent and continued to drive the car. For a strange reason, my head and my heart felt lighter. At the end of the discussion, for a split second, I felt like I've forgotten who I was in the past. Again, I shook my head and tried not to think too much about it.

~~~~~~~~~

Mike drove the car away shortly after we stepped out of it. The museum was huge. Elegantly styled from the roof to the floor of the building. Huge, pearl white columns which supported the exquisitely designed roof. Turquoise stained windows and gigantic posters plastered on the walls, showing off the featured exhibitions of the museum. Doors as grand and as big as those in a royal castle. The design of the museum simply took my breath away, but I must not forget my main objective of this trip. I glanced at my watch.

12:00 PM

I have exactly two hours before the exhibition opens. Before anything happened, Erwin held my hand in his, and so did Mrs Smith. 

"Don't get lost okay? There are lots of people here today," said Erwin, bending down slightly to talk to me.

Sure enough, there were lots of people today. In fact, it was so crowded that I felt like I was going to get squeezed to death if I had to walk through the crowd. There were many types of people there, both men and women, young and old. Most likely they too, came here to see the Titan exhibition. I held onto the hands of my adoptive parents tightly. Together, as a family, we braved through the crowd and managed to find a less crowded hallway to start exploring the museum.

1:40 PM

Time flies when you are having fun. I enjoyed spending time with Erwin and his wife, listening to the stories both had to share. There was a warmth in my heart that I have never felt before.

 _Is this what it feels like to spend time with a family?_ I thought. I glanced at my watch again. I've got only 20 minutes to rush to the exhibition.

"Hey, Mom, Dad, can we go see the Titan exhibition now?" I asked out of the blue.

"Of course, we can. But why don't we finish looking at the exhibitions feature down this hallway before making our way there?" suggested Mrs Smith.

I gave a rather irritated sounding sigh and agreed. It was not long before I started to nudge them again.

1:50 PM

"Mom...Dad... can we please go see the Titan exhibition NOW?" I pestered.

"Hold on a little longer. Let Mom and Dad finish reading the description of this relic and take a photo of it okay?" Mrs Smith replied. Erwin simply smiled at me. My cheeks felt a little warm.

There more I waited, the more irritated I got. I decided that I'd go to the exhibition to take a snapshot of something significant and show it to Erwin, since it would be very long before we get a chance to enter the museum. I dashed off. I could hear both Erwin and Mrs Smith shouting my name. I ignored them and ran as fast as I could to get to the hallway where the exhibition was held.

 _Hallway F, hallway F...._ I searched around the museum frantically, not knowing where I was heading towards. When I finally found the hallway, it was entirely filled up with people. Not even a mouse would be able to squeeze through the entire crowd. I was panting at the entrance of the hallway, catching my breath from all that running. 

"There you are!" shouted Erwin. I craned my neck to the back. A panting Erwin and an equally tired and panting wife was what greeted me.

"Don't...run off... like that," said Erwin, trying to catch his breath as he spoke. He must've used a lot of his stamina to be able to catch up to me so quickly. I had always considered myself to be quite the fast runner. 

"Wow, that's a lot of people," commented Erwin after he caught his breath. "I've still got sometime left before I have to rush to meet up with a client. Let's wait for a while then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We stood there, now almost in the middle of the entire hallway, waiting for the seemingly long line to queue to end. We waited and waited, until what feels like eternity later, Erwin decides the check his watch for the time.

"Oh dear, its already 3:15 PM. I've got a client to meet up with. I think we need to go now," said Erwin. Mrs Smith agreed as well, it seems that she too has plans in the afternoon too. I tried to protest, but was immediately hushed by Mrs Smith. When we were leaving, Erwin tried to get the people to move in order to create a pathway for me and his wife. It was the moment when we passed by the entrance of the exhibition, that Erwin paused in his footsteps, eyes widened and staring into space. It was like the time when Erwin and I was watching the horses' performance at the farm. 

"Erwin? Erwin! Let's go!" snapped Mrs Smith. Erwin blinked a few times before apologizing. It seemed to me that he may have gotten some of his memories back, but I can't be sure until I ask him. Erwin called for Mike after we exited the museum. It was refreshing, getting some fresh air after standing inside the stuffy hallway. Mike came several minuted later, sending the three of us back home. Erwin and Mrs Smith left for their afternoon activities shortly after we arrived home. As usual, my squad came to greet me enthusiastically the moment they spotted me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, I did not get the chance to talk to Erwin privately about what he was feeling back at the museum. I felt a little disappointed about it. However, when I walked past their bedroom that night to go to the bathroom, I eavesdropped on their conversation a little. Thanks to the door, their voices were a little muffled but my hearing was good enough to roughly make out what it was that they were talking about.

"Honey... have you ever gotten a deja vu before?"

"Why Erwin sweetie, what's wrong?"

"It's just that I.... When I was leading you and Levi out from the crowd, I managed to get a glimpse of one of the exhibitions in the exhibition room."

"And...?"

"I thought that I saw a portrait of myself, labelled as 'the 13th commander of the Survey Corps'. A familiar image appeared inside my head, but I couldn't bring myself to accept it or figure out what is was... It was confusing and felt...weird."

"Oh, Erwin sweetie, you're just thinking about it too much. C'mon, take a break and let's go to bed for now."

"Yeah, you're right. Good night."

"Good night."

_That night, the feeling of euphoria took over me. I could not sleep and neither could I wait to tell Hanji or my squad about the good news._


	10. Familiarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin decides to take a break from work and spends time with Levi at a library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, thanks for reading this fic! Sorry that I couldn't update it till now because I couldn't find time to do updates. As usual, comments are welcome and thank you for leaving kudos if you did. This chapter will be a little special as a 'gift' for not being able to update for a long time. What's so special? Well, this time instead of using Levi's POV to tell the story, I'll be using Erwin's instead. Also, for those that have been following this fic for a while now, I think that you'd have noticed that I have added in one or two new tags and that I've decided to give each chapter a proper name. Makes life a little easier don't you think?  
> Side note: This chapter may be somewhat OOC. Really sorry about that! I tried ;-;

_[Splash! Head lunges out of liquid to gasp for air; starts panting.]_

_“Damn it, where am --Argh!”_

_There’s an excruciating pain around my waist area. My legs are starting to feel numb. I don’t think I can even feel any sensation from them anymore. I feel dizzy… More importantly, where am I? What’s this fluid that I’m floating in? I can hardly see anything… It’s too dark. I hear something…_

_“I said… SPIT. HIM. OUT!” [Muffled sounds of blades cutting flesh]_

_“Levi…? Levi, can you hear me!? Le—Argh!!!”_

_[Muffled sounds of blades changing could be heard. Panting slows down, starts taking in deeper breaths.]_

_I can’t seem to hold on much longer. The wound that I’ve sustained is far too serious. I can’t move no more, I need to rest. My eyelids are starting to feel heavy and I can no longer think straight. I feel…so…sleepy…_

_[Muffled sounds of blades cutting flesh. Surroundings starts to shake badly. A loud thud could be heard and some tremors could be felt. More sounds of blades cutting flesh.]_

_“Erwin…Where are you!? If can hear me, say something! Erwin!”_

_Le…vi…_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

12th February 19XX

“…win…rwin. Hey, Erwin!” Someone was calling and snapping their fingers in front of my face. I pulled myself together, blinked a few times and looked at the person who was calling me.

“Huh? Oh, what is it, Nile?” I asked instinctively.

“You’re zoning out again, are you sure alright, Erwin?” Nile shot me a concerned look.

“Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine!” I smiled politely and chuckled a little. Nile Dok is a fellow lawyer and a good friend of mine. Both of us met each other when we entered law school. However, we both parted ways when we graduated. Nile became a government lawyer while I became a civil rights lawyer. We hardly meet with each other since then.

Nile raised an eyebrow at me, clearly doubting my words. He then leaned back into his chair, grabbed his latte and took a sip from it. A sound of satisfaction could be heard as he placed his drink on the table. I drank mine as well.

“If you’re fine,” Nile continued, “then why have you been zoning out these past few days? I mean I’ve been seeing you hanging around the cafés near the court more often lately and each time I look at you, you look your mind is in space.”

“Oh really? Well… I’ve just been thinking about things lately,” my voice trailed off, mind starting to wander again.

“What kind of things?” Nile asked, curious as to what has been clinging onto his friend’s mind for so long.

“A dream from last a night…It felt so realistic. The scenes that I saw from that dream seemed…awkwardly familiar, like that was something that I’ve seen before…Hell, it even felt like I have done all those things in the dream before. It’s just that…I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly were those scenes or why am I even having it in the first place…” My mind sunk back into its own thoughts again, only to be pulled back up when Nile said something once more.

“Look, Erwin. I’m no psychologist, but I think the stress might be getting to you, that’s probably why you’re having those dreams. Like I said, I’m no professional and that’s just my opinion but I do know several people who can help you.”

“Ha ha, I think I can handle this one on my own,” I start to doubt even my own words as it came out of my mouth.

“Hey boys, what are you guys talking about?” Charlotte happily butted into the conversation. Ah, I forgot that my wife works in this café.

“Nothing, just some…guys stuff,” replied Nile. Deep in my heart I thank him for not causing more worry to Charlotte, not like she has not enough to worry about already.

“Erm…I got to go. Break’s over, time to head back to the office,” Nile suddenly announced. “Goodbye, Erwin. Goodbye, Charlotte.”

We waved him goodbye and Charlotte, like a good waitress she is, thanked him for patronizing the café. After the both of us watched Nile leave through the entrance, Charlotte turned to me with worried looks.

“Erwin, are you alright?” she asked. I was a little shocked by the question. Was she eavesdropping?

“Were you listening to our conversation?” I questioned her back. She sighed.

“Yes I was…Well, part of it only. So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” She raised an eyebrow at me, sternly looking at me like a child that was caught red-handed in a mischievous act. I knew I couldn’t hide it from her when she looks at me like that. I breathed in deeply for a moment, clearing my thoughts and briefly told her about my earlier conversation with Nile.

“In my opinion, I think Nile is right. You may be too stressed out. You hardly ever take a break from your work. It’s always been work, work, work all day long. What’s more, the only time we ever got to properly spend time with each other is when I pester you to take a vacation from your job. Erwin, I think you shouldn’t be thinking about this too much. Go and relax and enjoy your life a little. Maybe take Levi to the park or something. Kids will become harder to bond with as they grow up you know, with all their friends and all.”

I took Charlotte’s words into consideration for a minute. _Maybe she’s right. Maybe the reason I had that dream was because I was too stressed, but could there be another cause?_ _That I’ll have to find out._ Even so, I decided to follow Charlotte’s advice, take a few days off from work and spend time with my own family. After finishing my latte and bidding Charlotte farewell, I went back to my own office to complete my work, making sure that I don’t bring anymore home so that I can spend a proper weekend with my family.

By the time I was done, it was time to pick up Levi from school already. _Alright Erwin, the weekend is almost here. Don’t ruin it by thinking too much about things, just relax and enjoy_ , I told myself. I took a deep breath and drove to Levi’s school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I reached the school, most of the students seemed to have left already. The lights in the classrooms (as well as other rooms) were already switched off, save maybe for one or two of them. I saw a couple of parents holding the hands of their children and leading them out of school. Some of the kids were telling about their parents about their day at school while some just joyfully ran ahead of their parents, stopping every few metres to wait for their parents to catch up. Flashbacks of my own childhood appeared in front of me. I remembered that I was once like that too, excited to share about the adventures I had at school or to rush home to enjoy a good home cooked meal by my parents. Those were the days… I scanned the school premises for my own son, then I spotted a sulking child leaning against the school gate—it was Levi.

I gave a slight smile, relieved to see him safe. I stopped the car right in front of the school gate and stepped out of it to greet Levi.

“Levi!” I called out and opened my arms to carry him when I saw him trotting towards me.

“You’re late,” Levi complained as he clinged onto me tightly. I patted his head gently, hands gliding along the child’s black, silk-like hair. It was an extremely comfortable feeling. I whispered an apology to him which only made him cling onto me tighter. I gently set him down onto the passenger seat of the car. I then drove the both of us back home while listening to Levi’s story of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

13th February 19XX

My morning started out as per normal, I get out of bed at 9 a.m., brush my teeth, take a morning shower, get dressed, eat breakfast at the dining room with the family then get ready for work. Everything was the same expect for that last part. I had told myself that I will use the weekend to relax and unwind myself. Well…Easier said than done.

“So…Honey, you’re not going to _work_ today are you?” Charlotte inquired, emphasizing on the word ‘work’ on purpose in hopes that I had remembered what she’d said and that I’ll follow her advice. Fortunately for her, I did.

“No, absolutely not,” I replied her.

“Great, that means that you’ll be able to spend time with Levi while I’m at work!”

“You still have to work on the weekends?”

“Yes, since unfortunately, the café couldn’t find any part-timers these few months to work for the weekends. What’s more is that ever since the café started a new Valentine’s Day special menu and discounts, more customers have been flooding in! The café is also short on staffs so I had to work overtime as well as on weekends too.”

“I see…”

“What’s ‘Valentine’s Day’?” Levi asked.

“Oh, it’s a day where people show their affection for another person through gifts like chocolate or flowers or even gift cards with love messages,” explained Charlotte, clearly amused by Levi’s innocence. “Well, time to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can, alright? I love you, boys.”

Charlotte stood up from her seat, carried her plate on one hand and ruffled Levi’s hair with the other (Levi was seating next to her). She then made her over to my side of the table and gave my lips a little peck. For a second, I had thought that I saw Levi giving Charlotte a death glare. _You’re overthinking too much, Erwin_ , I convinced myself.

After Charlotte left the house, it was just me, Levi and Mike, who’d just entered to clean up the table, in the dining room. I could feel the atmosphere getting more and more awkward as the seconds passed by. I have to say something, its ‘bonding time’ after all.

“So Levi, is there anywhere you’d like to go today?” I put on my usual smile as I waited for his reply. It took a good while before he finally answered.

“The library,” said Levi. I never thought I heard the boy said that since he had given me the impression that he was not the ‘study’ type since day one. I agreed anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The drive to the library didn’t take long since it was actually quite close. The size of the building, along with its historical-looking exterior, made it stood out from the rest of its surrounding buildings. The pearl white paint, carefully sculpted designs on the wall and the blue tint on the window panes of the library made it look grand. Levi walked up to the entrance as soon as we reached the massive building, stopping for a moment to wait for me.

The interior was equally massive as well, multiple stories to store its large collection of books. Bookshelves made of cherry wood, walls painted pale yellow and stairs lined with a wide, red carpet down its middle gave a grand feeling. The floors were made of walnut wood, dark brown to make the bookshelves stand out from afar. Well-made sculptures of mythical creatures that sat on a black column lined up neatly near the walls, like knights lining up alongside the red carpet, guarding the king and the queen from danger.

Once we entered the library, Levi started to explore the building, running through rows and rows of bookshelves. I followed him behind, sub-consciously admiring the extraordinary collection of books that filled the wooden shelves of the library.

When I finally caught up to Levi, he already has a book in his hand, frantically flipping and scanning through the pages like he was searching for something.

“Levi…?” The child jerked up when I called him, visibly surprised. “What are you reading?”

“’The world 2000 years ago’, it’s a book about the past where titans and stuff existed,” Levi replied, a slight excitement in his usual dead-sounding tone.

“Interesting,” I commented. Both of us then took a seat at a nearby table. Levi sat close to me, placing the book between us so that the both of us could read it.

The book was mostly filled with messy sketches of what the people back then had called ‘titans’. They looked like caricatures of humans, faces distorted and parts blown out of proportion. They were the monsters that had haunted humanity in the past, causing civilisations to be built behind walls. The smallest of these creatures were reported to be three meters tall while the largest to be sixty meters. However, there was one section of the book which interests me the most for some reason or another. It was about the different fractions in the military. Particularly, the part about the ‘Survey Corps’ was the one that caught my attention.

There were very few pictures about what the Survey Corps does for a living, only several old newspapers reporting about their deeds where shown:

‘Human titan sides with the Survey Corps, could this be a new hope for mankind!?’

‘Expedition is a failure! Death toll has increased!’

‘Survey Corp’s commander arrested for treason! Is this the end of the corps!?’

I skimmed through the articles that were featured in the book, most of them were speaking ill of the corps. I felt strangely enraged about the reports, _what lies_ , a voice in my head whispered to me. Yet at the same time, I felt that it was to be expected. Levi continued to flip through the pages, pointing at pictures, diagrams and articles that had captured his attention. He seemed to be rather interested in the Survey Corps, talking about certain parts of the book at lengths with details that were unheard of. It was when he flipped to the part about ‘Notable people in the Survey Corps’ that a strong, mysterious sense of familiarity took over me.

There were rough sketches and descriptions about the people shown in this section. The parts about the commanders and the person dubbed ‘Humanity’s Strongest’ had longer sections than the rest. As Levi flipped through the pages, images started to flood into my head. I felt like I was no longer at the library but in another world instead, a world of full bloodshed and war. Levi’s voice was drowned out and the only voices I could hear were unknown yet familiar voices:

“Erwin Smith, you are now the new commander of the Survey Corps…”

“I am Erwin Smith, the 13th commander of the Survey Corps…”

“Commander, what are your orders!?”

“Erwin~ oh, there you are! I’ve got some new proposals today that I’d like you to look over it…”

There was one voice, however, that shook me the most:

“Alright, Erwin. I’ll trust your decision…”

What accompanied that voice was a blurry image of a person that I had seen before in my dream. It was an image of a young man as far as I can make out. He was wearing a green cape over a short, brown jacket. I could also faintly make out that he was wearing a cravat. I couldn’t see his face clearly but he had jet black hair with bangs parted at the right. He looked strikingly familiar to someone that I know… but what was his name? It’s at the tip of my tongue…

Lee…Lee...Le…vi…? Levi…?

The young man in the blurred image started to move, it’s no longer an image but a scene. He seems to be shaking me, calling out to me. The voices had suddenly disappeared but the youth’s face is starting to get clearer. I tried squinting, hoping to get a clearer view of his face. But alas! When his face had become clear enough, it vanished just as quickly as it came. All the other images had disappeared as well and I realize that I was still in the library. I felt someone tugging my right arm, saying my name softly, “Erwin…Erwin!”

I looked to my right and saw Levi. A faint afterimage of the young man I saw earlier overlaid his face. They look almost exactly the same, how strange! The name of the young man became hazy again but I could remember his face now, and he looked just like Levi. I picked my son up and carried him in my arms. I needed the assurance of what’s real and what’s not.

“Let’s go home, Levi,” I told my son in a hushed tone. I needed the space to think and connect the dots. I took the book that Levi was showing me just now. This could be the answer as to why I’m seeing all of these uncanny images. When Levi replied me, I swore that I could hear the voice of the young man overlapping.

“Okay, Erwin.”


	11. A 'small' accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi is running out of ideas to bring Erwin's memory back. However, while he was trying to come up with one, he met a 'small' accident that nearly costed him his life. Despite the danger he he found himself in, this accident had also seemed to have some much desired effects...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for so long! Been busy with life lately and I'm having a writer's block. Argh! Anyway, I hope that you guys will enjoy this chapter! If there's any mistake, please do tell me. Comments and kudos are always welcomed :)

_“Erwin, Erwin! Are you here!? Say some—“ *Gasps*_

_[Sees badly injured Erwin lying somewhere among the dead masses of titan flesh and smoke]_

_“Er…win…?” [Runs up to Erwin]_

_No…No…This can’t be happening…Not right now, not right here!_

_“Oi! Erwin, Erwin! Are you still alive? Answer me!” [Shakes Erwin]_

_Damn it, he’s not responding… Is he out cold or…? No…I can’t be sure…I need some help, I’ll need to bring him back to base for the medics to examine him. Yes, that’s it! Alright, time to leave this dump of a town…_

_[Carries Erwin on shoulder, moves towards location of base]_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

14th February 19XX

The sunlight shone brightly in my eyes today when I woke up. Start of a new day and also another day of Erwin acting weird. Ever since yesterday, he had been reading and re-reading the book I borrowed from the library. I walked into the kitchen for breakfast, and as expected, Erwin was there with that book in his hands. I strolled over and right next to him, taking a peep at what exactly he was reading:

_“Humanity’s strongest – Lance Corporal Levi.”_

_So… He’s reading about me…_

“Morning, Dad,” I greeted with my usual monotonous voice. It took Erwin a couple of seconds to respond to me or to even realize that I was even right next to him.

“Ah, good morning Levi,” he finally spoke.

“What are you reading?” I asked, even though the answer is obvious.

“Oh, it’s the book you borrowed yesterday.” He then proceeded to show me the book’s cover. ‘The world 2000 years ago’ was the title written at the top of the cover in a fanciful font.

“So how was it?” Erwin paused for a moment, as if he was contemplating what to say.

“So far, it’s been a great book. Never knew that the world 2000 years ago would be so… so… lively…” Erwin trailed off at the last word. Was ‘lively’ what he said? Tch. Even the word ‘horrendous’ sounds more fitting. Just then muffled footsteps were heard, followed by a cheery voice.

“Good morning~” Mrs Smith greeted in a sing-song voice. Erwin seemed to have snapped out of his daze and shifted his attention to his wife.

“Good morning,” we both greeted. Mrs. Smith, wearing a bigger smile than usual, skipped merrily to Erwin and leaned in for a quick kiss. It was hard to resist the urge of not to yell or strangle that woman. After that kiss, she took her seat at the other end of the table, directly opposite of Erwin.

“So, do you remember what our plans are for today?” Mrs. Smith started. I took this as my queue to go to my seat at the long sides of the table, in between my adopters. As soon as everyone was seated, breakfast was served.

“I- Erm…Yeah. Of course, I do.” Erwin’s face began to look a little red; he was probably caught off guard by the question. _How strange_ , I thought. He had always been such an attentive person, no matter how boring the situation was. I decided that it was probably better to keep my mouth shut for now. I looked down at by breakfast. It was some freshly waffles with eggs, bacon and some maple syrup in a small bowl to go with them. I ate my meal silently as I continued to listen to the on-going conversation, glancing up occasionally to look at the pair.

“Erwin, don’t tell me you’ve forgotten?” the Mrs. asked, disappointment in her voice. “Sorry,” Erwin muttered softly. He then picked up the fork and knife that was placed beside his plate and started eating his breakfast.

Mrs Smith sighed, clearly frustrated with her husband’s behavior. Well, who could blame her when her husband’s been acting out of character for a while now?

“You know, Erwin, you’ve been acting weird ever since you’ve been reading that book. Are you even listening to what I’m saying right now?” Mrs. Smith looked at her husband with a concerned expression on her face. Erwin said nothing.

“I’m sorry…” the blonde said once more after several moments of silence. The chair screeched as Erwin suddenly stood up, took the book and left the kitchen. I immediately stopped eating, trying hard to process what had just happened. I turned my attention to the only other person left at the table. The Mrs. was just as equally puzzled as I was.

“So…what are we going to do today?” I inquired her, trying to sound as innocent as I could. Mrs. Smith sighed once more.

“Well, your dad and I were supposed to go on a date to a nearby amusement park while a close friend of mine babysits you. But, judging from how your dad is acting nowadays, I guess it’s better to just stay at home until he stops acting like that,” she explained. I stared at her drained expression. Her eyes were empty; the shine it once held earlier disappeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once I was done with breakfast, I decided that it was about time that I went to find Erwin and check up on him. However, it seemed that the Mrs. had gotten to him first.

The couple was at the living room, sitting on the huge, beige couch in the middle of it. There were two cups placed on the coffee table in front of them. _They must have been there for a while_ , I thought. _Maybe it would be better if I let that woman talk to him._ With that, I was left to my own devices.

I paced around the house, trying to think of other ideas to get Erwin’s memory back, but most of them were violent ones. I was about to kick a nearby furniture when suddenly I heard a voice chime in, “Captain, are you okay?”

Quick as a flash, I jerked my body to face the owner of the voice. Standing in front of me was Petra, along with Oluo and Gunther who was standing behind her. Those three were wearing worried faces. They must have seen me wrecking my brain for some idea. Perhaps it may be best to talk it out with them…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soft, spring breeze was a relaxing feel on my face. The fresh air was also a nice change of pace. I took a deep breath, clearing my mind of my frustration. Ah, how I missed the days where we went out for expeditions. The wind and the vast, green scenery were some of the little things that I missed. I gazed up at the skies; they were as beautiful as they were 2000 years ago. Gunther’s idea of relaxing my mind was brilliant. At least now my mind is more organized and I can finally think.

I pondered for some time, wondering what was the best solution to get Erwin’s memory back. At some point, I’ve concluded that approaching Hanji was the best solution. She would know what to do. At times like this I wished I had her phone number, then again, I’d be stuck with numerous calls from that four-eyes if I did. Now that I’ve got a (temporary) solution, it’s time I head back inside. So far, no one has seen me, which was great. Otherwise, they’d have a heart attack from seeing such a young boy, like myself (or to be precise, my body), sitting alone on the roof of a big house.

I stood up carefully, making my way slowly to where I came up from. The roof was not completely flat like some buildings I’ve seen. They were like two-sides of a triangle, straight and placed side-by-side at an angle. Well, in my honest opinion, I think that whoever did the tiles on the roof had done a shitty job because in the next second, I was falling to my death.

I was not sure whether it was by luck or by fate that I managed to catch a glimpse of Erwin, who happened to be walking out of the house at that instant.

“Young master!” I heard Eld yelled. I faintly remember overhearing my squad saying that he was coming over today to tend to the garden.

This was probably the first occasion after a long time that I ever felt helpless. I closed my eyes, prepared to die. The cold air that I felt blowing on my face as I fell suddenly stilled. I opened my eyes. I was not dead, that’s for sure, but my lips felt warm. Oh, my lips are touching Erwin’s.

I immediately pushed away from Erwin. Apparently (and luckily), he had caught me from my fall. What’s more, it was in such a way that we’re hugging each other at the end.  The hug, I have to admit, was really nice.

Erwin stoned there for several moments, while Eld rushed over to me. After I was deemed to have no injuries by Eld, we brought him into the house and sat him down on a chair. Eld took some pieces of paper to fan him while I brought him a glass of water.

“Erwin. Oi, Erwin. Erwin!” There was no response. I called out his name several times. It was only about twenty minutes later when he finally had a response. “Erwin, Erwin, are you there?”

Erwin’s eyes slowly shifted down to meet mine.

“Levi…?” He called out softly. “My…sweet…lover…”

Shakily, he stretched out his right arm to brush my cheek. I leaned onto his palm. It was enormous compared to my own. I held onto his wrist and smiled at him, “Yes, I’m here, Erwin.”

Erwin smiled weakly. For a minute, it felt as though I was back in the past, spending some alone time with my dear commander. Unfortunately, that dream did not last very long because in the next instant, Erwin hurriedly pulled his hand back. He started panting, face looking pale and horrified from the realization of what he had just done. I watched him intently, praying hard that he had at least remembered something.  

“No…no…that’s not possible…we can’t be that…” Erwin started to mumble in between his rapid breaths.

“Erm…I’ll be leaving to do my now…So if you’ll please excuse me,” said Eld awkwardly. I had almost forgotten that he was there the whole time. Good thing I didn’t do anything that might embarrass myself in front of him. I nodded, signaling him that he can leave now. With a bow, he left the vicinity. Now it’s just me and Erwin.

“Erwin…?” I started. That caught his attention almost right away. “Do you-“

“No.”

“What?”

“I said ‘no’. We can’t be-be-Argh!”

I had had never seen Erwin this irritated before. I wondered what was going on in his mind just now. However, before I could let my thoughts wander further, Erwin said something that didn’t really want to hear.

“You’re grounded.”

“Huh!?”

“You heard me, you’re grounded. No outings, no shenanigans or whatsoever from today till the end of next week. Just…Just stay in your room.”

“But-“

“NOW”

Just like that, my adventure for the day was wrapped up faster than I hoped. Dejectedly, I trudged back into my room. If only I had kept my balance earlier when I was at the roof, this situation may have been avoided. Oh well, too late to start regretting what I’ve done right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Later that evening, Erwin and his wife, Charlotte, went downtown to celebrate Valentine’s Day. The area downtown was filled with joys and laughter of the many couples that were there. There were people giving out heart-shaped balloons, stores selling a wide range of chocolatey treats and majestic Valentine’s Day themed decorations placed around the town to commemorate this wonderful event. There was even a parade going down the street, showing off the beautifully decorated floats, designed by the region’s top schools._

_Our dear couple spent the night exploring the seemingly endless streets of stores, eating a nice, romantic dinner in a decent restaurant and enjoying the visually stunning parade. In spite of the exciting time the couple was having, Erwin could not help but feel that this was not right. He felt that there was something wrong, like he was cheating on someone…like he was cheating on Levi._

_No, he told himself. Levi is still a child, how could he…? Erwin shook his head in a desperate attempt to shake off those thoughts, but alas! No matter how much he tried to ignore those them, they still kept coming back to him. The images that he saw flashing though his head earlier that afternoon, were they real? Are they his memories or someone else’s? If they were indeed his memories, who exactly was he? He needed answers._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

15th February 19XX

“Good morning Mr. Smith. How are you today?” asked the therapist. The therapist is a bald man who is probably nearing his sixties or seventies soon. There are a lot of wrinkles on his face, showing just how old he is. There was also a bushy, grey moustache resting just below his nose. The classic white dress shirt, black pants, belt and shoes were his attire for that day.

“I’m fine, thank you. What about you, doctor?” I replied back, closing the door behind me.

“Please, call me Pixis. I prefer to be a little friendlier with my patients; it helps with recovery, y’know?” Dr. Pixis took a sip from his bottle before placing it back on his desk. I could tell that it was wine from the smell of it when he opened the bottle. What kind of doctor, or therapist in this case, would bring wine to work?

“Please have a seat.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“Hmm…” the doctor hummed as he scanned through the papers stuck onto his clipboard. “So what seems to be the problem, Mr. Smith?”

“Erwin, if you may. I seem to be having a lot of weird dreams and experiences lately, and they seem to make me feel like I’ve done or seen these things before.”

“Hmm…I see.” The doctor grabbed a pen from his pocket and began writing down notes on his clipboard. “So, exactly what kind of experiences or images are you seeing, Erwin? Are you able to describe them to me?”

“Well…” I hesitated a brief moment. The recent images I had was somehow disturbing, yet surprisingly intriguing to me. “The most recent things I’ve seen are images or scenes that are of me with my lover. It seems to be taking place in the Titan era…about 2000 years ago?”

There were scribbling sounds as I spoke. The doctor halted when he realized I was staring at him for an answer. After all, this was my first time I ever attended a therapy session.

“Oh, don’t mind me; I’m just taking down notes. It helps me to evaluate my patients so that I can give them proper advice later. You mentioned about seeing yourself with your lover in the recent images, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Could describe how your lover looks like to me, or how this person behaves?”

“He looks…almost exactly like…my son, Levi but much older. He does the sorts of things couples do, except that he sometimes seem like pushing himself to do all those things.”

“So…how do you _feel_ when you see those images?”

“I don’t know. They just feel familiar, like I’ve done seen them before. Hmm…How should I put this? It just felt as though I was supposed to know them, like they are my memories.”

“You’ve mentioned that you’ve got a son, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Has he been exhibiting any _abnormal_ behaviors?”

“He blushes a lot when I’m around him. He has also been doing all sorts of weird things such as attempting to smack me with a frying pan, talking about facts regarding the Titan era that I’ve never heard of even in school or anywhere else. Also, yesterday, for a brief period of time, he acted as though he was my lover.”

After a lot of questioning, Dr. Pixis placed his clipboard on his desk. He then proceeded to take another sip from his bottle. He placed it back onto the table again, using his free hand to wipe off the remains of the drink off his mouth and moustache.

He turned to face me. I looked at him with hopeful eyes, praying hard that he would have the answers for all the things that have been tormenting me lately.

“Erwin Smith.”

“Yes?”

“This may be considered as ‘unprofessional’ or it could be the alcohol talking but, I think this isn’t something that ‘science’ can solve.”

“…What do you mean?”

“Well, Erwin, do you believe in having ‘past lives’”?


	12. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erwin finally regained some of his memories back (and learns about the concept of 'past memories')

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back from my super long hiatus (real life and all). Well, now it's time to finish what I've started. I've gave more thought about the storyline and I think it's really about time to start moving on with the story plot. I'm expecting about 3 or 4 more chapters to go (plus one bonus chapter) before this story ends. I hope my writing isn't too bad (if you feel that the characters are OOC, I apologize) since truthfully speaking writing is not one of my forte. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed writing and developing this idea. Also, thank you for reading this (and all your comments and kudos if you did leave any).
> 
> P.S. If my writing style has changed, I know. This pretty much happens to me a lot when I haven't write for a while.

15th February 19XX

Erwin’s POV

Truthfully speaking, I was shocked at first, hearing the therapist talk about the concept of ‘past lives’.  I had never given much thought about it, really. I've heard stories about it but never had I expected them to be true. The therapist went on, explaining the concept of past lives and all the things related to it.

“…The reason why many people do not retain the memories of their previous life is because they leave the world without any unfinished business or regrets.” Pixis explained before he briefly took another sip of his drink. “Those who do are the ones who have things they have yet to complete.”

He then paused for a moment to let the information sink into my brain. Hmm…’old memories’ and ‘unfinished business’… Suddenly, Levi comes to mind. I was not entirely sure at first, but something tells me that this could be the reason for his ridiculous behavior. I wondered if I should tell the therapist about it…

“So…do you have any questions?” Pixis asked out of the blue, breaking my train of thought with it. I was taken a back for a moment from his sudden questioning, but quickly recovered.

“Yes, I was just wondering, is it possible to get your old memories back?” I inquired, putting the thoughts about mentioning Levi’s behavior aside until I could get more information.

The doctor rubbed his bare chin for good few seconds, obviously in deep thought while I waited anxiously for a response.

“Well yes…it is possible,” he answered, choosing his words carefully. “However, cases like this are extremely rare. To date, there only a handful of such documented cases since most people choose not to dwell on the past.”

I nodded my head thoughtfully at his response, slowly taking in and processing the information. The puzzle is slowly coming together now, a voice at the back of my head told me. The only thing left to do is to check if Levi has his past memories. I got up and promptly thanked the doctor for his time. As I left the clinic, a part of me started to wonder how I should bring up this up to my family, especially Levi.

 

 

 

Levi’s POV

Yesterday was such a mess! Not only am I grounded but I probably blew my chances of trying any more things on Erwin in an attempt to get his memories back. I slumped onto my bed, upset and frustrated by my constant failures. It has been years since I last felt like this. I stared at the pale blue ceiling above me, oh how it reminded me of the sky so much.

I was about to fall asleep when a loud, sharp knock jolted me up. Without getting up, I craned my neck to see my visitor—it was Petra and Oluo.

“Come in!” I called, slowly getting up into a sitting position. The two nervously shuffled into my room, nearly tripping over each other’s feet as if we were still back in the good ol’ days where I had just gotten my own squad.

“Erm… My apologies for the disturbance lance corporal! But, we were just wondering…if…if you would like to talk to us about what’s on your mind,” said Petra with a shaky voice. I raised one of my eyebrows.

“We…We just thought you looked upset, so we wondered if we could just lend a listening ear and maybe you could tell us what’s bothering you, y’know—Ow!” added Oluo promptly before Petra elbowed him in the stomach lightly which caused him to bite his tongue.

I sighed and gave a brief smile to the duo, clearly forgotten how close we were back in the days. “Alright, take a seat.”

 

~~~~

 

About 2 or 3 hours had passed as I was talking to my old squad mates. It was a relief honestly, talking to these two. Compared to Eld and Gunther, these guys are probably the more cheerful ones out the lot.

“…and that’s how it is,” I ended, sighing yet once again to finally let out the stress. “Thanks for listening. It really means a lot to me right now.”

“No problem, it’s only natural that we help one another after all!” said Petra, smiling widely.

“Yeah, and we are also—Argh!” Oluo has bit his tongue again, this time it is because Petra stomped on his shoes before he got a chance to finish his sentence. I pity him sometimes.

I dismissed them shortly after that, allowing them to go on doing about their chores without worrying about me. All that talking today really helped to lighten my mood; furthermore, it has also helped me to form an important conclusion from yesterday’s mishap: shock from certain events can help one to recover their old memory back. That means to say, if Erwin could experience a shock from an event big enough to bring his old memories back, I could get my beloved commander back. Well, it’s not as if I don’t like the current Erwin, it’s just that I prefer the old Erwin. The one that had seen battle, the one that had brought humanity to a new age, the one that I had slept with all those years ago. I want _that_ Erwin back.

“Levi!?” yelled a muffled voice. “Are you there!?”

That sudden call for me had pulled me out of my thoughts. The voice called for me again. I listened carefully to it, it is Erwin. It seems that he has come back from what had he called it again? Ah, right, ‘therapy’.

 

 

 

Erwin’s POV

I called out for my son. Perhaps he hadn’t heard me or perhaps he is asleep, but either way, I really wanted to talk to him about these old memories (and address his behavior while we’re at it). I clutched a book in my hand, it was the same one that I had been reading for that last several days.

I called out once more, louder this time. It did not take long before I caught the sound of running footsteps. As the sound gets louder, I quickly took a moment to recall the events prior to coming home…

After the therapy session, I visited a nearby café. It was not as fancy as the ones I’m used to but nevertheless, it was still nicely decorated for a small establishment. Light and dark brown walls, white ceilings with matching white fans and wooden round tables completed with wooden chairs fitted with soft velvet covered cushions were placed around the interior of the shop. I took a seat, ordered a cup of coffee and started making a phone call.

I dialled for my wife Charlotte and told her what the therapist had said. She went silent for a few minutes, most likely at the loss for words at the doctor’s unlikely response. I would have the same reaction too if I were her.

“So let me get this straight, the therapist said that the reason why you are having those weird visions and behaving strangely was because of this…this ‘past memory’ thing?” she clarified. I could hear many people in the background, must be a busy day at her end.

“Yes,” I responded. “At least that’s what he was insinuating, I think.”

She sighed. “Well, if that’s the case, I won’t argue with it, but I’d prefer if you could get a second opinion, just to be sure. By the way, did you take the chance to ask about Levi?”

“No.”

“Wha—Why!?” Her reaction this time was almost immediate, I noted.

“I just thought that maybe I should talk to him about this first. If it was really the case where Levi has his old memories and is trying to get me to remember mine, maybe I could convince him to stop all his nonsense before it gets too out of hand,” I explained while peering out the café’s window and stared at the scenery outside.

“But why would he want to do that?” she asked. I could hear the concern in her voice.

“I don’t know; that’s why I’ll have to question him when I get home.” I took out the library book from my brown leather sling bag that I had brought with me to the therapy session. I flipped it open to the page I had bookmarked the night before.

 “Mmm…Alright. Well, I got to go now, my manager is calling me. Love you, and take care.”

“I love you too, bye.”

I ended the call. The phrase ‘I love you’ seems to mean less and less to me now whenever I said it to my wife. Has it got something to do with my old memories, I wondered.

Coffee came sometime after I had ended my conversation with Charlotte. I started to read the book. The last page I had read was about the soldier that was given the title of ‘Humanity’s Strongest’. A picture of a man, who looks like a grown-up version of Levi, was also featured in the book. If reincarnation was a thing and retaining your ‘old’ memories was a thing as well, would it then be possible to retain your ‘old’ looks? Such theories started to pile in my mind.

Strangely enough, even though the main reason I'm reading this book right now is to at least find some sort of (miraculous) answers to my Déjà vus I'm having, I find it quite enjoyable to read about the past. It felt as though I was an old man re-living his younger years through photographs and the memories that came along with it. It was not long before I was on a chapter that was titled: ‘The 13th Commander of the Survey Corps.’

The title was in large letter and bolded to make it more eye-catching. Underneath the title was a blurry black and white photograph was a picture of a man fair hair and eyes. He also had his right hand curled up in a fist and placed across his chest while his left arm is placed at the back. _Ah, it’s their salute_ , I thought, recalling the previous chapters that I've read. Upon closer inspection to the photo, I realized that the person in the photo is…me? Wait, what?

More flashbacks started to occur. My head ached from all those flooding memories. Images flashed across my mind, voices started echoing in my ears. Though this process was just a mere second or two in reality, but it did felt more than that. When the memories stopped flooding, I flinched a little from the throbbing pain. I placed my hand at my temple, rubbing it gently in an attempt to sooth the pain.

Usually, when these flashbacks started to occur, I would hardly retain any of the information (or memories, if you’d like to call that way) from those flashing images. This time, however, was different. I actually remembered quite a few things. It was a strange feeling at first, since these ‘old’ memories felt like someone else’s; but as I let those memories sink in, eventually, it started to feel like my own. I took a mental note of what ‘old’ memories I did recover:

1) I was the commander of the Survey Corps, which means to say that I _am_ that Erwin Smith from 2000 years ago during the Titan era.

2)  Levi and Mike were my subordinates, though I think I recall being to closer to Levi than Mike, despite the latter being a close friend from my trainee days.

3) My main reason for joining the Survey Corps.

4) A person named Hanji Zoe.

I sat there, stunned. I placed the book down on the table and started to drink my coffee. Familiarity started to sink in next. I've known Levi, I've known Mike. Was that the reason why, even in this life, I've chosen them to be part of my household? Who is Charlotte then? Is she someone I knew in the past as well? Questions started to pop up one after another. I could only guess the answer to some. I decided to contemplate my next move.

Let’s see… I could ask Mike and see if he could tell me anything (but I doubt that he has his past memories seeing how he has no ‘unusual’ reaction when we first met) or I could ask Levi instead. Ah, that’s right, Levi! Now that I think about it, he has been acting very weird ever since the first day of him being in my home. Well, I have my ‘suspect’; I’ll just need to figure out a way of how to bring it up to him…

 …Which brings us back to our current situation where I’m calling out for my son. It did not take very long for him to come down to meet me. When he did come down though, he stood several feet away from me, looking nervous as to what I had called him for. I gestured him to come over, which he did by treading carefully as if I would hit him when he was at my arm’s length. Once he was close enough, I petted him and knelt down to his height.

“Sorry about yesterday,” I started. “I don’t know what got over me that I just snapped at you. I hope you can forgive me.”

“It’s…” Levi cleared his throat. “It’s okay. I shouldn't have done something that dangerous anyway.”

I paused and let the atmosphere ease up slightly before I continued. “Great...I'm glad that’s cleared up… So…About those shenanigans that you've been doing the past couple of weeks or so…By any chance, are they related to you trying to recover my ‘old’ memories?”

Levi’s face was filled with shock after I asked that question. His face became pink afterwards and he started to break eye contact with me. Knowing full well that this was not something one would ask right off the bat after apologizing, I let him think about his words carefully.

“Yes,” he managed to choke out, face now even redder. I nodded my head in acknowledgement before leading him into one of the spare guest rooms to talk.  

 

 

 

Levi’s POV

It seems that Erwin had figured out the reason for all of my antics. How he figured it out, I'm not entirely sure but if someone had told him about this concept of ‘old memories’ and ‘past life’, then I must be grateful for that person. Since this just made my job easier. As for Erwin, I told him everything I could remember about the past.

From the titans, to the Survey Corps, to the details of our everyday lives and the things (or accomplishments) he had done in the past (expect for our relationship, left that part out in case it was too much or awkward for him). I had never felt more enthusiastic talking to someone before. When I was done, Erwin just sat there, staring at the carpeted floor of the guest room.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, confused if I should be worried.

“Yes…everything’s fine.”

“So do you remember anything?”

“Funnily enough, no, I don’t. But all of the things you said…It all seemed very…How should I put it? ‘Familiar’…”

We sat on the edge of the guest bed in silence. The atmosphere tensed up again.

“Anything you want to clarify or something?” I prompted.

“As of now, no.” He got up from the bed, face still look tense. He might say that there’s nothing, but after spending years with him, I know he is obviously lying. “I’ll ask you if there’s anything I want to find out.”

“Alright…” I watched him leave the room. While it feels good to finally tell Erwin (almost) everything, yet why do I still feel so…empty? I continued to stay in the room for the next hour or so, wondering what I should do now that he knows why I do all of those things.

_Maybe I should consult four-eyes and see if she could give me some advice_ , I thought.  


	13. Dramas and breakthroughs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is now another way for Levi to make Erwin remember their past and it involves Hanji. In another news, things are not going so smooth with Erwin and his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally posting another chapter after a vacation. As usual, my apologies for any OOC-ness from the characters and constructive feedbacks are always welcome. If you have left any kudos or comments, thank you very much!

7th March 19XX

Levi’s POV

Several weeks had passed, the library book was returned (though it was actually overdue for a couple of days, but Erwin was more than happy to pay for those overdue fees) and a similar copy of the book was bought from a local bookstore. Erwin had also become obsessed with history ever since he brought the past memory situation up to me, but well, it’s not like I could blame him for it anyway. I had also told what happened to Hanji the first chance I had.

“So what was his reaction when you told him everything?” The four-eyes asked cheerfully, bright eyes peering into mine with her never fading enthusiasm. We were sitting in our empty classroom alone after school. No teachers to bother us, no students, just us and the janitor that comes by once in a while to see if we had left so he could start cleaning said place.

“First off, I haven’t told him _everything_ , just what he had accomplished, the titans, and some of the on-goings of the Titan era…Nothing about our relationship. Secondly,” I took a deep breath. “He was surprisingly…calm when I told him those.”

Hanji took a while to take in what I had just told her. After several seconds of silence, she adjusted her glasses. “…I see…”

“Really, that’s all you have to say?” I asked, clearly a little disappointed that she didn’t blabber on a bit.

“Well~ you should know that Erwin isn’t the type to overreact to things so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he’d be so calm about this,” she retorted. I glared at her. “Then again, the fact that he wanted to know more about the past…Don’t you think it means that something had happened to him  and he wants to know more about it!?”

“Wha—you don’t mean…?”

“Yup,” Hanji said with a smirk growing on her face. “He might have recovered some of his memories!”

That was great news…In fact, I couldn’t believe it. Erwin, after all this time, after so many of my attempts has finally…

“Hey, Levi…Are you alright?” Hanji asked, concern clear in her tone.

“Huh? What are you talking about? I’m fine.”

“Then…why are you crying?”

It was only then that I realized that my face felt wet and cool from the tears streaming down my face. I don’t often cry, but I guess this was one of those rare times in which I did. I then used my sleeves to rub my eyes, face a little red from crying in public…and in front of Hanji of all people. God, she may not let me live down with it.

“H-Hey, don’t cry! Here, here, I’ll give you a hug!” With that, Hanji pulled me into her embrace and started stroking my head. It didn’t felt as good as when Erwin does it (and she smells a bit) but it did bring me some comfort. “There, there, everything will be alright.”

“Thank you,” I muttered, my voice a little muffled from burying my face into her chest.

“You’re welcome.” She then let me go and pulled out a packet of tissues from her pocket. “Here,” she said as she offered me the packet. I took it and thanked her.

“You know,” Hanji announced while straightening herself up, her clothes wet where I had cried against. My face started to feel warm and I looked away from her. “I don’t usually do this since this is against school policies, but spoiler alert! The school is going to have a ‘meet-the-parents’ day next week!”

“A what?” I realized my voice sounded weird; must have been from all my sobbing just now.

“You know, a ‘meet-the-parents’ day!  The time of the term, or semester depending on the school, where the teachers meet their students’ parents and tell them all about how they behave in school and all that?”

“But, what has that got to do with my situation right now?” I inquired, still trying to wrap my head about where this is all going.

“I could talk to Erwin for you.” Hanji replied bluntly. My eyes widened. She then took out a piece of document from her sling bag and shoves it to me. I took it and read it, ‘Form for ‘Meet-the-Parents’ Day, happening on March 15th.’

“I’m actually only supposed to give that form out tomorrow, but since you are a ‘special case’; I guess I can make an exception.”

I was stunned. I really don’t know what to say. Hanji talking to Erwin for me? Usually that’s a bad idea but I think I can overlook it this time. Hanji talking to Erwin…huh, if we play our cards right, Erwin might actually be able to remember everything! This could be a solution—

“Ahem!” Hanji prompted. Oh, right.

“Thank you, Hanji.”

“No problem!”

 

 

 

Erwin’s POV

I have been sitting at my mansion’s library for hours. With a nice cup of coffee in one hand and a history book in another, I was hoping that I could recover some of those ‘past memory’ and piece everything together. I might sound insane, but I really wanted to find out what happened to me in past that caused Levi to act strangely around me for the last few months. I gulped down my coffee.

_Hmph, how ironic_ , I thought as I wipe away some of the coffee from my mouth with a tissue, _that a man that always looks forward to the future such as yourself is now tied up in the past. How sad…_

“Erwin!? Are you there!?” called Charlotte from the other side of the entrance door. I had forgotten that she had taken a day off today, what a failure of a husband I am.

“Yes, I’m here, my love! Come in!” I replied, putting the empty cup aside and turned my body around to face her. Charlotte came into the library with a plate of freshly baked butter cookies and another cup of sweet smelling coffee. She walked over briskly, skillfully avoiding the piles of misplaced books on the floor all while making sure that neither the coffee nor the cookies had spilled onto said place. I now remembered why she was crowned the employee of the month at her café.

When she came over, she carefully placed the cookies on an empty spot of the table and promptly swapped my empty cup of coffee for a filled one. Once she was done, I hugged her and kissed her on her lips. They smelled of cherry.

“So how’s it going?” she asked, smiling.

“Pardon?”

“This…erm…research you’ve been doing…how’s it going?”

“Oh, well…I-It’s fine.” I glanced down to the opened history book on the table. The page that it was on had a greyscale picture of a man whom I now recognized as Levi’s past self (after so many flashbacks). For reasons unknown to me, why do I want to touch him?

“Honey?” Charlotte nudged. Her hands were on my face, shifting it to look into her eyes. I think I might’ve faintly caught her staring daggers at the picture like the man in the picture was her rival or something. “You shouldn’t stay cooped up here for too long, you know? It’s not good for you.”

I placed my hands around her waist while she shifted her arms to wrap around my neck. We suddenly started swaying, dancing to a silent tune.

“I know,” I calmly answered her. Now we are really dancing, as we have unconsciously changed our posture to look like how we were really at a ballroom dance.

“So why do you still do then?” We started moving around. I tried my best not to step onto any of the books on the floor.

“Hmm?” was my only reply as the next thing I know, I started to spin my wife. She spun to as far as her arm would allow it, before I pulled her back to our original position.

“It’s been a couple of days now that you’ve been acting like that, holing yourself into this place with your books for hours on end.” She stopped moving, her expression changed to look like she was about to cry. “Sweetie, I’m worried for you. You aren’t usually like that. I know you like to come here to do your work and all, but this…this is a little too extreme don’t you think?”

“Extreme? What are you talking about? I’ve been here for longer periods of time, you know that.” I pushed my hands away from her waist and held them in hers. What soft hands she has.

“I know…but this is different. If it’s for work, I understand. But for something like this…like this ‘past memory’ thing or reincarnation or whatever you call it. Isn’t it about time that you admit that maybe you are teeny bit too obsessed with it?”

“What? I’m not obsessed with it. I’m just doing a little research.”

“’A little research’? If it really is a ‘little research’, then why do you need to be cooped in here for days? Heck, you’ve been down here almost the whole day for about 2 weeks now! Sometimes you would even sleep in here! Erwin, I think that…maybe…you’ve changed…”

“Changed? I haven’t changed. You know, just because I’ve been in here for a long time doesn’t mean I’ve changed, honey.”

“Okay then.” Charlotte leaned forward to me, her hands placed on her hips and stern green eyes on me. “Answer me this: Do you love me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Okay…then, do you want to have sex with me?”

I started to hesitate when she asked that. Why did I hesitate? Why couldn’t I just bring myself to just say ‘yes’ to her immediately? For a brief period of time, I felt like I was transported to another place. _Where am I_ , I thought. My eyes darted around, the place I’m in seemed to resemble a bedroom and I’m on a bed. My dick suddenly felt hard and felt like someone was moving up and down on it. _More importantly, what am I doing?_ With that thought in mind, I adjusted my neck a little, only to see a naked Levi moving at my hips, “mm…Erwin~” he moaned, sultry eyes grey eyes meeting blue. “More~” He cried out. I started panting too. This was too much, this is torture. I wanted to reach out to him to touch him and—Wait! This isn’t right! I pulled my mind back into reality.

“O-Of course I do.” I tried to remain calm. After that little flashback, I might need to camp in the bathroom for a while.

“You hesitated…and you blushed,” Charlotte noted flatly out loud. She then began shooting me a barrage of questions. “Why? Do you have someone else? Who is she? What’s her name? What does she—“

A sudden knock on the door cut Charlotte off of her impromptu interrogation. Both of us craned our necks to see who our visitor at the door was. It was Mike. I let out a breath of air that I did not realize I was holding. I have to treat that man later.

“Young master Levi is back,” reported our butler. “Shall I go fetch him here?”

“That’s okay, Mike, just let him be. We’ll go see him later. You can go now, and thank you for informing us,” I said, silently glad that my tone finally back to normal. Mike bowed after I was done and left us alone shortly. I turned back to look at Charlotte. She seemed slightly upset that she had been interrupted. She jerked her head back to face me, she looks furious this time but with a hint of defeat in her eyes.

She sighed, “You know what? We’ll leave this here. It’s pointless trying to force the answer out of you like this anyway.” She glanced to the empty cup in her hand that she had forgotten that it was there all this time.

“I’m going to go wash this up in the kitchen now,” she announced while showing me the cup. I, too, had forgotten about it and with that, Charlotte left the library premises quickly and silently. I wonder if she was upset. Oh well, I’ll have to deal with that later. For now, I have to go greet Levi first.

~~~~

_Erwin’s assumption was proven right that night when both he and his wife started to argue. His wife had somehow started to think that he had been cheating on her and used his little research as an excuse to chat with his mistress on the phone (despite Erwin telling her that he does not even bring his phone along with him when he is at the library). Both husband and wife fought late into the night, with the wife accusing her husband of cheating and the man trying to explain himself.  After about an hour or two later, Charlotte stormed out of their bedroom, leaving Erwin alone to reflect on his actions for the night._

_Levi, who sleeps in a room not too far from the couple, overheard their conversation. As Erwin’s former lover, he was actually relatively pleased with it. However, deep down in his heart, he felt guilty for the possibility that he was the cause of it. Should he have kept his mouth shut when Erwin asked him about the past, he asked himself. It was a sleepless night for the Smith family._

 

 

 

Levi’s POV

I came back home about an hour later than I had expected.

“Welcome back, young master,” Mike greeted me when I entered the front door. It felt awkward when he called me ‘young master’. In the past, we were of the same rank, so we just called each other by our names. It sure does feel weird when someone whom you considered equal for a long time suddenly addresses you as their higher up.

“Yeah,” I choked out. I was simply not used to it despite having staying here for a least a month now. I then made my way to the couch and dumped my belongings on it. “Where’s dad?”

“In the library, young master. Shall go announce to him that you’re back?”

“Please do.”

“Very well, young master.”

After Mike left, I climbed onto the couch and tried to make myself comfortable. It has been a long day at school. Technically, I was supposed to come home about 2 or 3 hours earlier but I lied to Erwin and his wife that school was ending later today because of some events just so that I could talk to with Hanji. Speaking of that four-eyes, I had also discussed with her about what she was going to say to Erwin on that ‘Meet-the-Parents’ Day nonsense.

We have agreed that Hanji would tell Erwin several things in his previous life in detail so that hopefully it would trigger something. Just as I was about to get off the couch to go get a drink from the kitchen, Erwin came.

“Hey Levi, how’s school today?” He asked. It’s not obvious, but there was a hint of sadness and frustration in his voice.

“Fine, I guess,” I replied. Awkwardness started to rise shortly after neither of us said anything to the other for a few seconds.

“Oh, that reminds me.” I grabbed my bag and dug out the form that Hanji handed me earlier today. It got crumpled up after I had stuffed it into my bag hastily, well, that is to be expected. “Here.”

“What’s this?” Erwin asked. He tried to sound as normal as possible. What was he trying to hide? Did he fight with that wife of his? Must be, since I heard her washing something furiously not too long ago. I wonder where she went…

“It’s a form for ‘Meet-the-Parents’ day happening next week. It’s a day where you can meet my teacher and ask her how I was in class.” According to four-eyes anyway.

“I see.” Erwin proceeded to read through the form after I explained it to him what it was for. Not long after, he requested for a pen so sign it which I happily obliged.

“Here you go,” he said while passing me both the form and the pen back. I thanked him and took a look at the form. He had signed that he was attending (which was a relief for me), now all that’s left is for Hanji to talk to him.


	14. The finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending that you've been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, I had finally found the time to update this fic. Hopefully the ending, or rather, this chapter does not sound too rushed. Anyway, thank you for choosing to read this fanfic and had enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. Wishing you a great day ahead! Cheers!

14th March 19XX

Erwin’s POV

A week has passed and it’s finally the day where I get to see Levi’s teacher. I faintly remember meeting her on the day I and Levi went on that farm trip but I never really did talk to her, but now, I finally got the chance. I have so many questions to ask her about Levi. Was he alright during school? Did he have any friends? Was he going around creating mischief? I’ve got so much to ask, but I’m not too sure if all of those questions could fit into the half hour time frame I’ve got for seeing the teacher. Truthfully speaking, the only thing I’m more concerned about is if he had created any trouble at school. I mean, if he was pulling all those antics at home it would probably be safe to assume that the same thing might be happening at school. My worries grew even more. First my wife and now Levi. I hope the teacher does not have anything _interesting_ to say about him.

“Next please!” called out a cheery voice from the classroom, breaking my train of thoughts. I immediately came back into reality. I got up from my chair, my ass aching from sitting too long. I was the last person in line after all. I then took a quick glance to my watch as I did some stretching. 4:28PM was what it said. _God, I’ve been sitting around for nearly 2 hours now_ , I thought. _No wonder I feel so sore._ After giving my back one last stretch, I entered the classroom.

“Good day, Mr. Smith,” greeted a brown-haired, glasses-wearing woman, the owner of the voice from earlier. She smiled at me before gesturing me to take a seat. I sat down, wincing a little at the pain that shot up my spine from returning to the same position I had for nearly two hours. “Well, good day, to you too, Miss…” I trailed off, having forgotten about the teacher’s name. How embarrassing…

“Zoe. Hanji Zoe. You can just call me Hanji,” she said, giving me a wide grin. I smiled back, my cheeks a little red from needing her to tell me her name. What kind of parent doesn’t know the name of his kid’s teacher? “Well, nice to meet you Hanji.”

“Likewise, Mr. Smith,” She replied. She then looks down at her clipboard which was pressed beneath her wrists. “So, you’re Levi’s father right?”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Okay...Well, let’s see here…hmm…” Hanji began to flip through her keyboard, going through the documents on it as quick as she had scanned them which mind you, was like a snap of the finger. “Ah, there we go! Levi Smith...” As she began quickly looking through her paper, I prepared myself for the worst.

“Alright, it says here…that his grades are fine, although to be precise, he’s actually one of the better students in the class.” Whew, what a relief.

“But, behavior wise, he’s got quite a few complaints…Mainly about foul language and inappropriate behavior at times, but other than that, nothing much.” Again, a relief, though honestly speaking, I was expecting something much worse than that. “So, is there anything you’d like to know about Levi in school?” Hanji asked, looking oddly expectant for a question. _‘She knows something’_ was a phrase that popped up at the back of my mind. I decided to brush it away, for now, instead focusing my attention on more important matters.  

“Well…I was just wondering…Did Levi cause any trouble in school aside from the things you’ve said?” I asked.

“Nope, none at all,” came her reply. Well, that’s strange.

“Are you sure? No violence, pranks or anything? Nothing at all?”

“Aside from the foul language and defiant behavior? Nope, nothing at all! Why? Is something wrong?” She tilted her head a little to the side this time, and raised one of her brows, clearly confused about this. “You can tell me anything.”

I took a moment to consider her words. Should tell her about Levi’s behavior at home? My mind screamed ‘yes’, after all, teachers have lots of experience with kids right? I took the chance.

“It’s…It’s just that Levi when he’s at home, he likes to pull a lot of shenanigans. Most of them involving me, like hitting my head with a frying pan and what not,” I explained. I felt weird for saying that. Maybe it’s because of how ridiculous it sounds when I say it out loud? I don’t know, maybe. For a brief moment, my eyes shifted on the floor and I felt my face growing a little warmer.

As for Hanji, she became silent for a couple of seconds before she started laughing loudly. My face became even hotter now. God…I felt silly for bringing that up now. Let’s just hope she doesn’t say anything funny.

“Ah…Sorry about that,” Hanji apologized as she lifted her glasses to rub her teary eyes. It was at least a good minute or two before she pulled herself together and the discussion could continue. She drew a deep breath and calmed herself. As she adjusted her glasses, I repositioned myself in my seat, getting ready for her comment on the situation.

“Okay, let’s see here…You mentioned Levi was pulling all sorts of antics involving you right? Have you asked him for why he was doing so yet?” she enquired, serious now that she stopped laughing.

“No, but, I figured it out on my own.”

“Which is…?”

“To recover the memories of my past life.”

Her eyes widened at my response, surprise written all over her face. However, something tells me that it wasn't surprising that was written on her face, but rather, the word ‘impressed’. She then nodded her head in understanding, eyes glancing down to the side of the small classroom table. She stayed quiet for a while. The whole room fell dead silent as the teacher formulated her response.

“So…what about this ‘past life’? What is it about?” She spoke up after for what seemed like an eternity. I told her everything that I’ve been experiencing and the things that Levi has told me about the Titan era and myself.

“So let me get this straight. You’re saying that you’re one of the commanders of the Survey Corps from long ago?” Hanji asked.

“’Was’ one of the commanders of the Survey Corps, yes.” I corrected her.

“I see, I see. Honestly speaking, I also believe about ‘past life’.”

“You do!?” I replied, unconsciously raising my voice as I did so. Now that was a quick turn of events.

“Yes, I do. In fact, I get a lot of weird flashbacks whenever I think about it. So, how about it? Would you like hear me out?” There was a certain glimmer in her eyes, one that you would find it hard to say ‘no’ to. I reluctantly agreed, not realizing what I have gotten myself into. Well, it’s not every day you get to meet someone who goes through the same thing as you, or almost the same thing in this case.

Seconds became minutes and minutes became hours. We discussed many things over the course of our meeting, which made me glad that I was the last parent to see her. From déjà vus to strange flashbacks, to titans and the Survey Corps, we talked quite a bit but it was mostly about the titans. She seemed really passionate about it.

“…Say, it’s getting quite late now, the school is probably going to close soon,” I mentioned as soon as I had the chance. It was really hard getting Hanji to stop talking so you say something. The light shining through the classroom was turning bright orange as we spoke. It’s probably evening now, I presumed. The teacher whipped out her smartphone to check the clock. “6:13pm,” she read the time aloud. It was indeed getting late, I wonder how Charlotte and Levi are doing.

“I guess it’s time to wrap up, huh?” said Hanji.

“It would appear so,” I agreed. I slowly pushed myself up from the chair, legs slightly numb and my ass even sorer than before from all that sitting on a plastic chair. I hope they get better chairs soon.

“So, would you like to meet again to talk about this?” Hanji asked as she packed up her things and placed the table back to its original position.

“About ‘past lives’? Sure, if you don’t mind,” I told her. We exchanged personal contacts after that. It’s good to keep in touch with someone who understands you.

 

 

Levi’s POV

Erwin came home much later than I had expected, but knowing four-eyes, I would probably say that this is normal. When he came home, it was around dinner time already and his wife and I just started having our dinner.

“I’m home!” Erwin announced loudly as he came through the front door. As Erwin made his way to the dining room, Charlotte threw a sparing glance at him before saying “welcome back” coldly. For a moment there, I wanted to slap that woman.

“Welcome back,” I greeted Erwin warmly and got a smile from him in return. He walked over and took his seat between his wife and I. This caused Charlotte to scoot away from him.

“So, what did four—I mean Ms. Zoe said about me?” I asked Erwin as his food was being served by Mike. It still felt strange seeing Mike waiting on hand and foot for Erwin.

“Nothing much except about your behavior. It’s not good to disobey the teachers you know?” I rolled my eyes.

“Maybe if you stop hanging about the library for too long, maybe you would’ve taught him some manners,” commented Charlotte. I glared at her. If looks could kill, I would make sure I’d rip her apart piece by piece. Erwin did not say anything at that, only simply continued eating her food. Small exchanges were made afterward but it was mostly about work and school life.

Dinner did not last all that long. In less than an hour, Charlotte left to do her things and only Erwin and I were left at the dinner table. The servants came and cleaned up the table while we sat there watching them do so. It was only after the servants had left when Erwin started to talk again.

“Say, Levi, about your teacher…did you know that she also had past memories too?” He started, a bit awkwardly.

“Yeah, I know.”

“So why didn’t you tell me then?”

“What would you do if you knew?”

Erwin paused for a short while before he continued, “Well, I would’ve contacted her earlier.”

“You’ve met her today.”

“Touché.”

“Tch.”

A moment of tense silence passed between us.

“So what did you two talked about today?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Lots of things, really, but most of it was about titans.”

“She’s like that.”

“You know her?” Erwin was raising one of his huge eyebrows at this point. I took a couple of seconds to realize how large they were. I had probably grown too used to looking at them in the past.

“On a personal level, yes. We were quite close in the past, kind of like best friends if you’d like to call it that.”

“I see…”

“If you would like my honest opinion, I would say that you should probably go see her more often. She knows more about this memory and reincarnation stuff than I do. So, it’s probably best if you go talk to her about your visions and what not.”

“That’s what I intend to do.”

~~~~~~~

_Months had passed since Erwin and Hanji met each other properly for the first time. During that period, Erwin had met up with the brunette multiple times, and each time they met, Hanji would give him more information about their past lives. She would talk about their relationship that they shared in the past. She would talk about the other people that were in the Survey Corps, but most importantly, she would talk about Levi. Oh, how Erwin learned so much about him from her._

_Most if the things she said about how he acted in the past quite reminded him about how his Levi acted today. Foul mouthed, the love for toilet jokes and defiant to people who he deems unworthy of his respect. Those were the things that made up the Levi of the past as well as the present. However, despite Hanji giving Erwin lots of details about Levi, there was one important aspect that she seemed to have forgotten—what was his relationship to Levi? Numerous times he had brought it up, and numerous times she had shut it down or simply avoided the question._

_“It’s best to find out for yourself,” she told Erwin one day when he had enough of her attitude towards the topic._

_“How?” he asked, curiosity brimming out of his clear blue eyes._

_“I don’t know…but I think you’ll find out soon,” was her reply. Soon? How soon? Weeks, months, years? Erwin could not simply handle the wait. He had to find out soon. Should he ask Levi? Yes, maybe he should. What better way to know the relationship between you than the other person than to simply ask them? Yes, that’s it, he would go ask Levi. He really should have thought of it sooner and he mentally slapped himself at that. He took his things and left, but little did he know that there was something much more serious waiting at home for him…._

~~~~~~~

Erwin’s POV

“I’m home!” I called out from the front door. I took off my jacket and handed it to Mike, whom I now knew as my ex-best friend from my past.

“Welcome back, sir,” Mike greeted as he straightens out the jacket and hangs it on the coat stand. “It’s something the matter, sir? You look worried.”

“What? No, I’m fine,” I took the chance to collect my thoughts. It’s now or never. “Where’s Levi?”

“I’m afraid he’s away at one of his classmates’ house. If you would like, I could go bring him back.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Well, there goes my chance. I’ll just have to ask him when he comes back then. As I head over to my room, I was stopped in my tracks by an angry Charlotte.

“Where were you?” she demanded, eyes staring down at me from the staircase to my room. Now, I have known Charlotte for at least ten years since college and this was the first time I had seen her so mad. Her face looked grim and her eyes were cold, this may not end well.

“At a café, meeting a friend.” She raised one of her dark red brows. She was not convinced. “Are you sure is not some girl you are going out with?”

That statement was a blow to my heart. How could she say that? Where did she get that accusation from? Sure, Hanji is a woman, but that does not mean that we are dating. After all, a man and a woman can be good friends, right? I tried to explain myself but I was silenced by a quick gesture from her to shut up. She took a deep breath and descended the stairs, her expression contorting into a more sorrowful one. There was a certain sadness in her eyes, ones that would make a man’s heartbreak, but for some reason, mine didn’t.

“Look,” she started, standing inches away from me, our eyes locking into each other's. It has been a long time since we were in this position, but that was when I confessed my feelings to her. This is different. “I know that you do not love me anymore…I’ve known it since the day you went to the library with Levi. It was always about the book, the past lives, the reincarnation thing, but never _me_. The passion that I once saw in your eyes, it’s all…gone...What I see now is a man who is obsessed with his memories instead of his wife.”

“Charlotte, you know that is not—“

“No, I don’t want to hear it. Time and time and again, you’ve always ignored me. You hardly ever sleep with me, talk to me or even look at me. You’ve changed, Erwin…And so did our love…” Tears began to well up her eyes. I’m starting to see where this is going, but once again, I was hushed by a simple gesture from Charlotte.

“Let me finish Erwin.” A tear rolled down her cheek at this point and a small sniffle came out of her. She was trying to be strong, yet all it does is to break her even further. “I just think that…maybe it’s time we call this marriage off. You clearly have things more important than me and I think I might be in the way. So, I’ll save you the trouble and tell you right now that I want to call off this marriage.”

“Charlotte...I…”

“No, Erwin. Stop. Just stop. I’ve made up my mind and I think that this is for the best. I’ll be leaving now for my parents’ house. The divorce form is in the bedroom drawer, the last compartment. Sign it before I leave, I’ll be submitting it.” She then walked past me, head lowered, eyes on the floor. Just as I thought she was going to leave without saying a proper goodbye, she added with a painful smile on her face, “This last ten years had been fun. I’ve truly enjoyed it.”

“Likewise” was the only answer I could give her. It was sad to have to watch her go, yet at the same time, it felt like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. It was strange, very strange. I could only wait for Levi to come home now.

~~~~~~~

_That evening, Erwin helped his now ex-wife to move to her parents’ home at the far end of the country. It was depressing to have to let her go; nevertheless, he felt that it should be done. A hug was the last thing the ex-couple shared before they parted their ways permanently, beginning anew in their love life._

_By the time Erwin got home, Levi was already in bed. He had spent hours to help Charlotte move back to her parents’ place after all, so it should not be unexpected that he would arrive home so late at night. Nonetheless, he still hoped that Levi was awake by the time he got back to question him._

_“Er..Erm…How should I put this?”_

_Levi was struggling with his words as Erwin pressed him to explain their relationship in the past. Self-expression was never one of his fortes, was the conclusion that Erwin came to after Levi stumbled on his words multiple times. He decided to leave the topic alone for now, sensing that he might not get much out of Levi anyway…not right now at least._

_Seasons flew by, and before the Smith family knew it, it was nearing Christmas already, or to be precise, Levi’s second Christmas in the Smith household. Erwin had not recovered much of his memories since the end of last Christmas, much to Levi’s disappointment. He had planned a huge ‘surprise’ for Erwin last year which ended in a disaster, mostly because of the pain it had caused the recipient. However, that didn’t stop him from trying again this year._

_“Don’t try anything funny this year,” reminded Erwin as he attached the seasonal ornaments to their Christmas tree._

_“Maybe,” came Levi’s cheeky response.  The two spent a good few minutes, laughing at that remark, but Erwin still hoped deep down that his son won’t be pulling any antics anytime soon._

~~~~~~~

_Fast forward a few weeks later…One week till Christmas._

A phone conversation between Levi and Erwin

Levi: “Hey, dad, calling just to check that you didn’t forget about the cake.”

Erwin: “Of course not. I just placed the order, heading back now.”

Levi: “I see. What about the things I asked you to get?”

Erwin: “I have them right here in my car. You know, Levi, judging from the list of things you asked me to get, I think I might be losing my trust in you.”

Levi: “What do you mean?”

Erwin: “Well, for starters, you asked me to get you a baseball bat, a bowling ball, and some plastics pipes. If I’m thinking what you might be thinking when you wrote down this list, I would say that you were trying to pull another one of your ‘pranks’ on me.”

Levi: “Oh, really?”

Erwin: “Really.”

Levi: “…”

Levi: “Alright, fine you got me. _Huzzah…_ ”

Erwin: “Levi…”

Levi: “What? If there’s a chance that I might succeed, I might as well give it a shot. Besides, it wasn’t like you were seriously injured anyway… ”

Erwin: “…Levi…I know you are trying to get my memories back by pulling all these tricks on me, but I believe I told you already that I can’t seem to get any more of my memories back these days.”

Levi: “I know, you did, but I can’t just sit still when there could be a chance that one of those tricks might work. Dad, I—“

Erwin: “Shh…That’s enough now. I’m aware that you are getting more and more desperate and upset with each failure you encounter, but you must also accept that fact that I might never recover all my memories back. I know it’s hard but trust me, you’ve got to—Whoa!”

*The sound of a car swerving was heard, followed by a loud crashing noise and the phone going static*

Levi: “Dad? Dad!? Erwin!? Hello!? Can you hear me!? Erwin!”

*A static noise is still heard over the phone*

Levi: “Damn it!”

~~~~~~~

An excerpt from a news article that was published the following day:

19th December 19XX

**NEAR FATAL CAR ACCIDENT AT SHINSHANGANA HIGHWAY**

_Two drivers crashed into each other on the Shinshangana highway and nearly caused another crash yesterday at about 9:45pm._

The drivers who were involved in the car accident were barely alive, each suffering from massive head injuries and broken bones. A man who nearly crashed into them only managed to scrape by with just a scratch on his car. The very same man also called the cops and an ambulance to rush to the scene.

~~~~~~~

Levi’s POV

It’s been almost a month since Erwin was hospitalized. It was also on an unfortunate timing too. We had to cancel our Christmas plans and arrange for babysitters to take care of me. Visitations to see Erwin were also arranged. Once in the morning and in the evening on weekdays, and as for the weekends, I stay by his side for as long as I could. Many people had come to visit him during that period.

Hanji, my squad members, Mike and even Erwin’s ex-wife had come to see him. It was indeed heartbreaking to see him like that. All bandaged up from head to toe, face covered in bruises and lying still for hours on end on a hospital bed.

“Hurry and wake up soon” was what I would always say to him as I clutched his hand tightly in my own. His hand would never move, always lying there, motionless. A gentle reminder that he might never wake up. The machine next to him beeps softly as I lay my head to rest on the cold metal bed cot.

_Today was no different_ , I thought, my eyelids closing from fatigue. It did not take long before I felt a sensation of some sort. Usually, it would either be a tap on my shoulder or someone shaking me awake, however, today was different. I felt something tightening around my hand. I immediately woke up from the sudden pressure that was exerted on it. Who did that? Was it Mike? If he did, props to him for coming up with a new way to wake me up. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and started to open them.

“Le…Levi…?” came a weak voice. My first instinct was to look at Erwin, and sure enough, it came from him. He’s awake! He’s finally awake! His face was still swollen from all those bruises and his head is still wrapped in bandages but nonetheless, he’s awake! Those blue eyes, I can’t wait to see them again. I scooted over to him, leaning in, our faces now no less than a mere five inches apart.

“Dad? Are…Are you alright?” I whispered to him.

“Yes, I’m fine Levi but—Argh! My head hurts!” He suddenly winced in pain, his right hand clutching his injured head and eyes closing tightly. On instinct, I tried my best to help him by positioning my hands near his head in case something bad happens.

“Careful, you’ve just been in a car accident not too long ago,” I told him.

“Car accident? What’s a ‘car’? Besides, the last thing I remembered was being eaten and stuck inside a titan’s stomach.”

“Erwin?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember me? Or what I was to you?

“Of course, you’re my lo—Argh!” He was in pain, yet again. I tried calling out to him, but he did not respond to me. His eyes were wide open, staring blankly at the ceiling. Cold sweat dripped down his forehead as he drew deep but hurried breaths. He looked like he was running a marathon.

“Erwin, I need you to calm down. Slow down your breathing and take calm deep breaths,” I instructed him, repeatedly. It took a while, but eventually, he relaxed. That was quite a scare. However, there was a different look in his eyes now. A more matured one, a steelier one, one that had seen death...

“Are you alright, Erwin?” I asked yet again, much more serious this time.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking,” he replied. He then set his eyes on me after blinking a few times.

“Levi?”

“Yes?”

“Did you always look this young?” Another pain episode came after he said that, except this time, it was just for that one or two seconds. “No, wait…I remember now…you’re…you’re my son…Argh! Okay, this is messed up.”

“Heh,” I let out a small chuckle. This is happening, after so many months, it’s finally happening. Erwin got his lost memories back, but I had to be sure. “I’m glad you agree. So how is it? Do you remember anything?”

“Lots of things actually, but to answer your question, yes, yes I am.”

We sat there in silence, waiting for Erwin to wrap his head around his own memories, both past and new. It felt like ages before Erwin had once again, pulled himself together.

“Well, this is awkward,” Erwin commented as he tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down by the throbbing pain in his head.

“You don’t say?” I shot back, still hadn’t gotten over the euphoria that my Erwin is, at long last, back to me.

“How long has it been since we’ve met? In this day and age, I mean.”

“Almost two years.”

“Then I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, my love.”

“Hmph, always with the sweet words. You never change, do you? Even after so many years without me.”

“C’mon, don’t say that. I know you like it.”

“Maybe.”

A warm embrace ensued as soon as I got close enough for Erwin to hug me. This kind of love…it isn’t that of a father and son anymore, no. It’s the love between lovers, between husband and wife, between those that are fated to be together.

“I love you, Levi.”

“I love you too, Erwin.”

“Let us promise not be apart again.”

“Yeah, let’s.”

 

 

THE END


End file.
